The real crisis at Manchester United is the players' tragic apology posts on social media
How many times can you apologise before it loses all meaning?
I defy anyone to think of something with less depth, sincerity, or substance, than a social media post from the Manchester United players, where they attempt some form of an apology.
Let's even forget the fact that most of the players have social media teams running their accounts, but the buck starts and stops with them, as they at the very least, have to approve these acts of embarrassment.
Twitter is already a cesspit of trolls and negativity, so for these posts to actually stand out on their own as monstrosities, is really saying something.
— Luke Shaw (@LukeShaw23) March 3, 2021
Bruno Fernandes writes an essay to apologise for penalty miss.
Bruno Fernandes missed a penalty in the dying minutes against Aston Villa, and it was a huge miss considering that it would have at least saved them from defeat.
However, he has literally been scoring from the penalty spot non-stop since moving to Old Trafford, his stats and conversion rates from the dead ball are absolutely insane.
No real United fan was calling for the Portuguese star to be banished from the team, they were obviously upset, but completely understanding that it's football, people miss penalties, it happens.
No excuses for my penalty miss today. I’m my biggest critic but as always I’ll use it to drive me forward. More than my disappointment though, the team’s loss today is the most important. I’ll be ready next time. pic.twitter.com/tTBgURne8B
— Bruno Fernandes (@B_Fernandes8) September 25, 2021
With the ball still being retrieved from row Z, you would imagine that this is a really embarrassing time for the playmaker, and that he will respond by getting the head down, working hard and putting in a big performance in the next game... right?
Wrong. Instead his Twitter account posted the most mundane, drawn out essay you could possibly imagine, in an attempt to show supporters that he is in fact, very sorry.
Honestly, you would have thought there was a death in the family with that obituary-type post, and if your cringe reflexes are already getting a work out reading that, then don't finish this article, because unbelievably, it only gets worse.
— Bruno Fernandes (@B_Fernandes8) October 17, 2021
It's not unusual for a player to post a picture of his goal, but Eric Bailly didn't think this one through.
No matter how good a writer I like to think I am, I will never find the words to properly describe my bewilderment at this Eric Bailly post.
The defender plays a blinder midweek in the Champions League, and then against Manchester City, when the whole team were simply dreadful, he scores an own goal.
It's not even that an apology to the fans is the wrong thing to do, but something short, simple and generic about "sticking together," or "never giving up" would surely suffice if you really felt you had to say something.
Nobody is more frustrated than me. I have to keep my head up, no excuses. pic.twitter.com/6O5tx2Caom
— Eric Bailly (@ericbailly24) November 6, 2021
However, Eric Bailly actually posted the picture of his own own goal. That is something that has actually happened.
Remarkably, he posted two different images, a close up of himself lunging for the ball, and then another of the ball already in the net.
As Manchester United Captain, Harry Maguire should really know better.
'Captain, Leader, Legend,' is what comes to mind when you think of proper Premier League captains like John Terry, Steven Gerrard, Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira.
So for Harry Maguire to be the man leading from the front for the Red Devils, you naturally are expecting big things from him.
As a group of players we are going through a tough period. We know and accept this is nowhere near good enough. We feel your frustration and disappointment, we are doing everything we can to put things right and we will put things right.
Thanks for your support ❤️🔴 UNITED pic.twitter.com/9cvD8vXKXq
— Harry Maguire (@HarryMaguire93) November 7, 2021
Producing top performances would be a start, but he hasn't done anything close to one of those this season, so at the very least, you would expect some decorum, dignity, and common sense.
Well of course not, as the United captain has tweeted three different apologies this season alone, and we're not even in December!
If David de Gea saved as many shots as he did apologies on his phone, United would be in a better place.
David de Gea runs in as a close second if you want to talk about apology posts in terms of sheer volume. The goalkeeper's Instagram account is more tragic than a Shakespearean play.
In his latest post, he sums up the complexities of human emotions in just three simple words.
"I am hurt" - Well, that settles that then, doesn't it?
Let's not even get into the personified marketing machine that is Paul Pogba, who has more people running his social media accounts than the entire United club has backroom staff.
Marcus Rashford has used social media for an immeasurable amount of good, and I hope he continues to do so, but it speaks volumes about the situation that even his heartfelt apologies have lost all meaning.
If anyone is offended by reading this, then please visit my Twitter account @sitelee where I have prepared a very wholesome and meaningful apology.