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Football

03rd Nov 2015

On a scale of Razor Ruddock to Ryan Giggs, what chance does Teddy Sheringham have?

Here come the forty-somethings

Conan Doherty

Where were you when Teddy Sheringham scored that goal?

That question is set to span over 32 years worth of memories now.

The Manchester United and Spurs legend is coming out of retirement at the sprightly age of 49 and could help fire his Stevenage side away from the League Two drop zone.

It’s always a bad sign of your management skills when you have to kit out and play yourself but Teddy is back. By God, he is back.

‘Stevenage FC can confirm that manager Teddy Sheringham and assistant manager Kevin Watson have both been registered as players ahead of Wednesday’s Herts Senior Cup tie at Welwyn Garden City,’ a club statement read.

What chance though does the seemingly evergreen Englishman have of still impressing?

We’re looking at a scale of his fellow forty-somethings to see how he still ranks at his age and who has the best chance of a comeback – Ryan Giggs obviously being the highest.

The retired forties’ power ranking

1. Neil Ruddock (Age 47)

Looks like Razor ate the Razor who ate Razor.

Neil Ruddock

 

2. Paul Gascoigne (Age 48)

Doesn’t even seem appropriate to comment.

'An Evening with Paul Gascoigne' Event in Northampton

3. Neil Shipperley (Age 41)

They just don’t make them like they used to. Shipperley will stir nostalgia in our fans of 90s football but all he’s stirring… food and all that. Just turned 41. Forties are going to be rough, Neil.

Neil Shipperley

 

4. David Platt (Age 49)

The same age as Teddy and might still have a command of a football but don’t rely on him covering any sort of ground in the middle of that park for you.

Manchester City Press Conference - Jack Rodwell

5. Dean Windass (Age 46)

It’s not like his game would have changed as a result of age or size, is it?

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6. Roy Keane (Age 44)

Pinging cross bars, looking great in shorts, still possessing that steely look in his eyes. Who can honestly say that they would turn away a 44-year-old Roy Keane from their squad? Apart from Alex Ferguson of course.

Roy Keane 5/10/2015

7. Teddy Sheringham (Age 49)

Doesn’t even look any different to what he did 25 years ago. And, if he still plays with that head and gorgeous right foot of his, League Two will be a piece of piss.

Stevenage v Tottenham XI - Pre Season Friendly

8. David Beckham (Age 40)

Retired too soon. He’d still rip open a defence with the swing of a leg. Tell me he wouldn’t make a difference to Stevenage’s midfield. If he can still play football as well as he carries a suit, he’ll be just fine.

Day Nine: The Championships - Wimbledon 2015

9. Gary Breen (Age 41)

Obviously.

Barnet v Darlington

10. Ryan Giggs (Age 41)

He does yoga, you know?

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