USA Soccer Guy’s guide to European World Championships

With the soccer season over in the the United Kingdom of Britain for now, EPL League soccer players would usually be heading off for their summer-time spring breaks round about now.

But this summer things are different, with a whole bunch of real awesome soccer players unitifying for the European World Championships. The opening game of the tournament takes place in the French city of Paris, France. The city is famous right around the world for having real nice cultural places like Euro Disney and that humongous tower, but in the weeks ahead soccer will be the number one attraction. As well as Paris, soccer matches are being played in a bunch of other French cities that we never heard of. There's a whole load of European countries soccering it up in France. World Cup World Champions of the world, Doucheland, will be one of the favourites to win the Euro Soccer Cup, but the host country of France will also be tryin real hard to take the cup back home to France. England Soccer Club have also made it and will be hoping to win their first soccer cup since way back in the summer of 69. Real lame soccer team Whales have also made it to their first soccer tournament since olden times, with MVP Garth Bale looking to kick Coach Hodgkins ass after not picking him to do soccer for the English guys. Ireland Soccer Club have also made it, and the 'Big Irish Guys' are joined by the Ireland Northsiders. Despite doing real good at the Euro Song World Championships recently, new European country Australia have not hit the right notes with their soccer yet and will have to watch on TV. Also sucking real bad are the Scotch, who will have to spend their summer looking for Nessie or whatever else they do there. France Soccer Club get the soccer ball rolling next week, with the Soccer Cocks playing some other franchise in Paris. After that, soccer fans can feast on an all you can eat buffet of soccer awesomeness. Look out for my top 10 MVP players of the European World Championships, coming real soon.