Transfers: Real Madrid man wants Liverpool, Shane Duffy going nowhere, Manchester City play hardball

It's here.

Paul Pogba has hoovered up most of 'Oh God, please, when will it end?' transfer news of the summer but there's a new horse in town. And this horse has form. Arsenal have been masters of the protracted transfer saga for well over a decade. Ever since the days Patrick Vieira bored us into submission over whether or not he was going to join Real Madrid, Arsene Wenger's side have found themselves at the centre of an extremely long and boring 'will he, won't he?' transfers which inevitably ends with otherwise reasonable people standing in their living room shouting at Sky Sports News 'I just don't care anymore. I just don't.' Step forward Alexandre Lacazette. The French striker is showing all the signs of stepping up to the plate. Arsenal have been knocked back with a bid already but according to The Telegraph are primed to whip out 35 million quid in cash and present it to Lyon. That will come as a huge surprise to Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas who has gone on the record saying that Arsenal will not be back with an improved offer. Someone doesn't know what they're talking about. Meanwhile, Manchester City have turned to page 314 of transfer manual, a page headed 'Brinkmanship'. Having quickly scanned this previously unread chapter of the manual they are using their new knowledge to get tough in their pursuit of Everton defender John Stones. Their £40m bid is a final, take it or leave it, offer, apparently. Or at least it is until they get to the next chapter, titled 'The purchase of Andy Carroll'. Real Madrid forward Jesé Rodriguez is wanted by new Paris St-Germain coach Unai Emery but for some strange reason, Jesé's preference when faced with the choice of Real Madrid or Paris St-Germain is... Liverpool. Blackburn manager Owen Coyle says that he has kicked back a £3m bid from Brighton for Ireland defender Shane Duffy. "I think the story was released from Brighton saying that they’d made that offer, which was turned down, which it was," he said. In other mad stuff that probably won't happen, Everton have knocked back Chelsea's £57m bid for Romelu Lukaku and apparently want £75m for the Belgian striker. Arsenal are in talks to sign Valencia's former Everton defender Shkodran Mustafi and Swansea are trying to sign Fernando Llorente.