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Football

04th Dec 2016

André Schürrle confirms he is now the world’s most devastatingly handsome man

Wow...

Simon Lloyd

Sunday evenings can be depressing.

The weekend has flashed by at breakneck speed and, even though we’re nowhere near ready for it, the working week is coming for us – whether we like it or not…

As if men up and down the land weren’t already feeling sorry enough for themselves as the final hours of their weekends slipped away in a hazy blur of shit reality television, along came André Schürrle to make them feel even more miserable with a single tweet.

For crying out loud, just look at how much more handsome he is than all of us…

That icy stare, his immaculately-coiffed hair, the stubble, the way his well-formed German head sprouts out of that turtle neck sweater… How can any man compete?

Aside from acknowledging how exceptionally handsome he is, the former Chelsea footballer’s beautiful black and white portrait was drawing plenty of comparisons within minutes of it landing on Twitter.

Disappointingly, nobody got the Michael Douglas vibe that we got…

photo

But there were plenty of other suggestions.

There were some that suggested it looked like it was straight from an aftershave advert…

While others were reminded more of a Scandinavian building designer…

There were plenty of Steve Jobs comparisons…

https://twitter.com/Mr_Bundesliga/status/805506038493577216

And some were reminded of the video for a classic song by The Police…

https://twitter.com/HarveyHinkler/status/805508587594231810

Somewhat cruelly, some suggested his portrait was worthy of a villain in a James Bond film, too.

Harsh.

Now for heaven’s sake, don’t let your wives / girlfriends see this. They’d never look at you in the same way again.

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