9 whinges club players at college have to listen to from their GAA club

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Listen, it doesn't matter how much commitment you show your club, you're at college so you deserve all the grief you get. That's the way it goes. Up and down the country, club teams are all promising that this year they're going to go above and beyond - higher and further than they ever have - in their pursuit of happiness. The funny thing about that though is that there is no such thing as happiness as long as there's such a thing as next season. So players who are running around up in college in a different part of the world for most of the week will always be the subject of scorn from the rest of the panel. Here's a list of the things they'll hear. 1. Are you togging out for the Sigerson team? - No. - Why not? - Because it's filled with senior county players, that's f**king why. 2. You're only 90 minutes up the road, why can't you make training? Because then I'd be dedicating five and a half hours every Tuesday to train for my club team. 3. We got in contact with a club up there - have you been out with them yet? - No. - Why not? - Please f**k off. 4. Who are those losers you're running around with? - Friends. - Friends of who? - Friends of me. - Are they GAA men? - Not really. - Why are you friends with them? 5. I expect ye back for the whole Easter break. - But... - What? - I have a life. - ... - ... - What do you mean? 6. Do you want a medal for coming to training? - Well it is a four-hour round-trip. - You're doing feck all else up there. 7. I don't give a toss if it's RAG Week, championship is in five weeks time. A new study has shown that the effects of alcohol last for at least six weeks in the system. 8. Lads, I know people up there - in all the pubs. I'll find out if you've been drinking. They'll always find out. 9. What is it you're looking for? Do you want a job? I'll get ye a job. So you can forget about J1s or summer breaks - you don't even have to study up there anymore.