DISCLAIMER: We are not responsible for decisions like Jose Mourinho's to bench players like Eden Hazard who was probably your captain last week.

Fantasy Football is a pain in the bloody backside if truth be told. We feel it as much as you do. But we're addicted to that pain. We keep coming back for more and, in the glorious words of Chandler Bing, "that's the beauty of this game, it makes you want to kill yourself." So we persevere. We go again...

Three players to sign

Saido Berahino Norwich v West Brom Value: £6.2m Selected by: 8.1% West Brom aren't a particularly pleasant team to watch but, since they've brought back Berahino, they have a proven goalscorer. They don't really try to win games under Tony Pulis but at least you can rest easy in the knowledge that, if they are going to win them - which they do a lot - it's going to be because of one man. In a tight fixture week, West Brom travel to Norwich in a more favourable than average tie. They also have Leicester at home the following Saturday. Get him in. Kyle Walker Bournemouth v Spurs Value: £5.0m Selected by: 1.8% Bournemouth are struggling. Tottenham have the best defensive record in the league. They have a newly-promoted side this week, worst attacking side Aston Villa at home next week. Walker is going for a bargain. And not even one in every 50 gamers have him in their teams. Marko Arnautovic Stoke v Watford Value: £6.0m Selected by: 0.7% Watford at home, Newcastle away. Stoke have won three games on the trot and their next two fixtures are even more favourable. They're playing some ball and, even when they close up shop, a couple of men are still their designated game-changers. If you're looking to free up cash elsewhere, you could do a lot worse than Arnautovic.

Three players to sell

Eden Hazard West Ham v Chelsea Value: £11.2m Selected by: 23.1% Just do it. How long are we all going to hold out for? Villa at home was the last straw. The Belgian was brought on for a six-minute cameo and anyone who made him skipper for the week took home a grand total of two points. Almost a quarter of Fantasy Football players are still holding out for Hazard and Chelsea to spark into life but you could have so many other players by getting rid of him. Sanchez (£11.5m). De Bruyne (£10.5m). Mata (£8.9m). Yaya (£8.6m). Ozil (£8.5m). Harry Kane Bournemouth v Spurs Value: £9.2m Selected by: 15.8% Why do you still have him? Theo Walcott Arsenal v Everton Value: £8.6m Selected by: 6.2% Yes, it's great, he's down as a midfielder and they play him up front. But he's also sh*t. And he's constantly living on borrowed time up there. Giroud will be back.