The four greatest moments from Bray Wanderers’ startling statement

Diplomacy 101.

For Bray Wanderers Chairman, Gerry Mulvey, attack seems to be the preferred form of defence and it was with considerable gusto that the Wicklow club announced plans to sell the picturesque Carlisle Grounds to fund the setting up of a world class centre of excellence. With the players collectively placing themselves on the transfer list and the club's very existence in doubt one might have expected a more conciliatory approach from Mulvey, but the man came out swinging for the fences with an extraordinary statement on Thursday. There is so much to try and absorb, but we have picked out four highlights that may well be studied in communications classes for years to come. 1. The Garden of Ireland is akin to rogue nation If you are looking for headlines, comparing the county of Wicklow to North Korea is going to do it. "Wicklow County has unfortunately now attained the accolade of being the North Korea of Ireland for business. "But like all suppressed people, they eventually revolt, a revolution of Football is going to start and Bray Wanderers will be the leaders not just for Wicklow but for Ireland in this revolt." 2. Maintain North Korean levels of mystery We are going to build a youth academy to rival La Masia in Barcelona, but we are not telling ye how... "To keep the club on a sound financial Footing and independently fund this academy and club forevermore, we do have a plan on how to do that." Colour us intrigued, Gerry. 3. Mention Conor McGregor because, you know, Conor McGregor "There will be naysayers to this and to them, we say, Ideally we’d bring in Conor McGregor for a quote but our response is..." Can we please get a comment from Conor McGregor? Maybe that whole Manchester United or Liverpool thing was a red herring - 'The Notorious' is really a Seagull for life. 4. McGregor doesn't respond, Google "Barrier of fear inspirational quote" Google informs us Ernest Agyemang Yeboah is a gifted Ghanaian writer and teacher. To that list you can add Conor McGregor substitute. “One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear not conquering is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks question we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.” Read the full statement below, it is wonderful.

Bray Wanderers FC can now officially confirm the club is financially stable for the foreseeable future and have a vision for the future unrivaled by any other Football Club in Ireland. Wicklow County has unfortunately now attained the accolade of being the North Korea of Ireland for business. But like all suppressed people, they eventually revolt, a revolution of Football is going to start and Bray Wanderers will be the leaders not just for Wicklow but for Ireland in this revolt. Ireland produced great world beating players, from Roy Keane, John Giles, Liam Brady, Robbie Keane to Ray Houghton  and many many more. The problem and question is why cannot Ireland produce such great talent anymore. We at Bray Wanderers are going to answer the questions and solve this problem. We are going to give Wicklow and Ireland something to be proud of where there will be an academy to rival the best in the world. Our vision and ,rest assured ,we will execute the delivery of our vision is a world class football academy to rival the best in the world. To achieve this, yes, we are going to and are in preliminary negotiations to buy a new Ground, and will be seeking from Wicklow County Council the rezoning of the land in The Carlisle grounds with the development proceeds used to fund the construction of what will be the best Academy and sporting Grounds in the country. To keep the club on a sound financial Footing and independently fund this academy and club forevermore, we do have a plan on how to do that. This will be at no cost to the Exchequer or County Council. But when you operate in North Korea, these options are difficult to achieve, but we will achieve it. Eventually when we have succeeded in our vision creating the best centre of Excellence in Ireland, based on Academies such as Barcelona Manchester United and other in that caliber, creating the best production line of players in Ireland, we will hand the facility and sustainable business over to a trust who will protect the club and the development of Football in Wicklow & Ireland long after our collective lifetimes. There will be may naysayers to this and to them, we say, Ideally we’d bring in Conor McGregor for a quote but our response is, “One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear not conquering is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks question we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.” Those afraid and living Fear, rest assured fear has no place in Bray Wanderers. Gerry Mulvey Chairman

Main image credit: Paul Moore