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Every step the English hype train is about to take ahead of the World Cup

Published 11:47 5 Jun 2018 BST

Updated 12:48 5 Jun 2018 BST

Conan Doherty
Every step the English hype train is about to take ahead of the World Cup

Homesport

This time, it's definitely different.

Look, we know you heard before that they were going to win the Euros and it didn't pan out and that it might just have been English hype but this is completely different. The impressive 3-2 win over Germany in Berlin in back in March of 2016 was a timely refuel of the country's hopes after several years of Roy Hodgson's sterling efforts to crush any modicum of excitement around the team. But, despite another miserable campaign, the English – much like ourselves to be honest (remember the Rugby World Cup?) – can't build up to a tournament without hyping themselves to the hilt.   England teams can't escape the hype. And here are the stages that gets rattled through on a biennial basis.

1. England have a bad tournament.

https://twitter.com/heyitskaatt/status/481516090829602817

2. England need an English manager.

https://twitter.com/chrisormie/status/196679495632162816 With passion. https://twitter.com/Sweeney_96/status/594757765513519104

OR...

England need a foreign manager.

https://twitter.com/stanleyjnr_/status/401469635272667136 And something about technical football. https://twitter.com/BrolinMZ/status/507273257939386368 Switch these as necessary after every flip-flop.

3. But England don't have the technical quality.

https://twitter.com/Jdmillo69/status/481493885584420866

4. England need a grass roots investigation.

https://twitter.com/gmans1/status/17801147058

5. But England also need a scapegoat.

David-Beckhams-hair-mirror-dartboard-1998

6. England have a self-evaluation of their own mentality.

https://twitter.com/SimonBrundish/status/513378565380145152

7. England turn on the golden generation.

https://twitter.com/__Locky/status/256828086635601921

8. England need to look to the future.

Daily Mail The Mail almost got it right in 2007.

9. England realise they already have the future sorted.

https://twitter.com/Tony8Cee/status/643010669483311104 Forget about that grass roots investigation.

10. An uncapped England player bolts from nowhere.

https://twitter.com/MarcSDuffy/status/1002974476206858240

11. England walk through their qualifying group.

https://twitter.com/utdBrett/status/1002175716170059776

12. England win a friendly.

The Sun The Sun, 2005.

13. Something about technical football but England have that now.

https://twitter.com/risingstar_brad/status/569536424669638656 It's different to the last time. https://twitter.com/AndyComyn/status/713845849059622912

14. Not that anyone's getting carried away...

https://twitter.com/act133/status/713843841841958912 https://twitter.com/Chargersgsy/status/713843773231534081 https://twitter.com/markjamess13/status/714047964356984832 https://twitter.com/RobertpHarper/status/713887240259301376 https://twitter.com/AdsBrown/status/713846952883068929 https://twitter.com/Dobcheck73/status/713844604588699648

15. F**k it, England can win the whole thing.

https://twitter.com/RoryKerrNixon/status/714781804352434176 https://twitter.com/JoelLangham/status/713839395497971713

16. England lose a friendly.

https://twitter.com/prodnose/status/714919037323579396 https://twitter.com/prodnose/status/714924081787703296

17. The hype around England has already embedded in though.

https://twitter.com/jordhook/status/1003384596740935680

18. England have a bad tournament.

https://twitter.com/Alix_SS/status/741733517860700165

19. Something about technical football.

https://twitter.com/GreenSamPAFC/status/480051104605274112

20. England need an English manager.

https://twitter.com/Jo_RW_lambert/status/167371013259137025

OR...

England need a foreign manager.

https://twitter.com/sidkidwai/status/441324874695720960

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Every step the English hype train is about to take ahead of the World Cup