Arsenal fans, eh?
A guaranteed top four finish every fucking season, a domestic cup or two every few years, and entertaining football played by world-class stars - what on earth have they got to complain about? The spoilt little shits don't know they're born. Back when I was a kid, our old man would come home covered in soot from working 27 hours down t'pit every day, with only a handful of lard and Champions League qualification to his name - and you know what? We were bloody happy with it.
The problem with these Arsenal fans is they won't realise what they've got 'til it's gone. They're moaning about Arsene Wenger now, but as soon as he retires they'll be raving about his achievements, showering him with praise, and mourning his loss like fucking hypocrites. Each and every one of those plums who shouts their mouth off outside a game, or moans about him on those interweb blog things will soon change their tune. Mark my words.
What's that? You lost to Bayern fucking Munich in the last 16 of the Champions League? My heart bleeds for you mate, it really does. How fucking tragic for you. You know something? There are starving little orphans around the world and Newcastle United fans who would do anything - and I mean anything - to lose to the Bundesliga champions over two legs. Think about that the next time you're online twittering about Wenger Out.
It's easy to take the piss out of Arsenal fans - it's one of my favourite things - but really, does anyone
honestly think that they take any pleasure in berating Arsene Wenger? Do you think they'll suddenly see the error of their evil ways in imploring a living legend to depart? It's not like a film. They're not baying for his blood, wishing him dead, and then at the very last moment, when they're standing over his spluttering carcass, exclaim:
"Oh God, what have we done?"
The sense of loss and melancholy they will feel - even after initial relief - when the club finally announce that he is stepping down will
not be a surprise. They've probably been gearing up for it for the last five years or so. Nor can it justifiably be seen as a lack of gratitude to want Wenger to retire. Barring the odd complete idiot, Arsenal fans are extremely grateful and indebted to their very greatest manager of the modern era. They absolutely
do appreciate him.
It is not a mutually exclusive equation - wanting someone to go doesn't mean that you do not acknowledge what they've done. Just because you feel that that somebody's time has probably come, it doesn't follow that you suddenly detest them and resent their existence. Take Manchester United fans and Wayne Rooney; everyone accepts that he has contributed fully to past glories, but they also know that he is no longer able to serve the team in the same way.
The essential truth that football fans support football clubs rather than football individuals - no matter now great - is often ignored to serve the narrative of 'loyalty', 'betrayal' and 'picking a side'. It is far sexier and dramatic to personalise a devotion, rather than connect it to something as intangible as a whole club. Make it about a man and you have
drama.
As a collective, Gooners are hardly a cohesive unit of like-minded individuals - far from it in fact. They bicker, feud and clash angrily on a regular basis - and as rival fans we wouldn't have it any other way. The sound of a group of irate Arsenal fans at each other's throats of a matchday is an utter joy to behold. It is sweeter than the song of a lark or the laughter of a child. They row like no one else, and of course the most divisive subject is Wenger and the
respect he is due.
The thing is, dickheads always shout the loudest. Arsenal have lots of supporters; thousands of them go to every game, and millions of them watch at home. The law of probability dictates that a few of them will cross the line and express themselves in a way that Wenger simply does not deserve. But the problem with that is that it clouds the issue. The discussion becomes more about Arsenal fans acting like pricks and disrespecting Wenger, rather than whether their feelings are justified.
Most Arsenal fans want their legendary manager to vacate his position sooner rather than later. Some want him to be sacked yesterday, whilst others feel that he has earned the right to leave of his own volition. They may disagree on when and how, and they may articulate it very differently, but there is an essential unanimity under the Jeremy Kyle-style pantomime.
That is not a lack of gratitude, or a form of delusion. It is because Arsenal have shown no real sign of progress for years, and nothing seems to change, other than some of the faces. They just hover between 2nd and 4th, and progress in the Champions League until they face someone good. It is absolutely not like when Sir Alex Ferguson left Manchester United, so stop suggesting it is. Fergie was successful to the end; Wenger has become semi-adequate purgatory.
Arsenal fans know that things may get worse before they get better once Wenger hangs up his 15 tog coat. The more realistic amongst them probably expect a difficult transition of a year or three. But they are not
quite so stupid as to assume it won't be an almighty wrench to say goodbye to a man they deeply love and very much
resent resenting.
As much as we like to characterise Gooners as ridiculous cartoons mouthing off on YouTube, they know the risks of a post-Arsene world and are desperate to make the jump anyway. Perversely, they yearn for the day they can eulogise about Wenger properly - without any form of mixed feelings. They want to mourn and miss him, and put his magnificent achievements in context. That is hard to do when he is under-performing in the present.
To criticise Arsenal fans, and paint them as modern football's ultimate brats for wanting Wenger out is shitloads of fun, but it is probably unfair. They just want closure.
