Miguel Angel Jimenez talks drink, cigars and his wife's bum in the best interview ever done
Have you ever been halfway through reading an interview and you literally had to stop to applaud its subject?
That happened to us when leafing through Alan Shipnuck's fantastic chat with the man who everyone wants as an uncle, Miguel Angel Jimenez.
The Spaniard is a cult hero in the golf world and it's not hard to see why from this interview at the beginning of which he is offered a glass of water and responds with a "My friend, water is for fish."
After he pours himself a glass of whiskey, Jimenez explains:
"I come from a different generation. And I'm not a hypocrite. I don't hide the way I am. If I want to have a drink, I have a drink. Why shouldn't I? Is it illegal to drink alcohol? Is tobacco illegal? So why should I care if people see me smoking? I do what I do out in the open. If people have a problem with that they can stick their tongue up their ass and let the rest of us do what we want to do. You can quote me exactly the way I said that."
Just in case you were panicking about that being the only gem that would be uttered by the world number 69, there was plenty more to come.
"I love golf like I love life. I enjoy a good meal. A good bottle of wine. Being in the company of my friends and my family. All that is critical. That's what gives life meaning. Life is not being born and dying—it's about what happens in between. This is what I am doing: living, playing golf, enjoying all that surrounds it."
Amen to that but perhaps our favourite bit of craic from Jimenez came when he discussed how he had met his wife.
"She was on the course watching the golf, and she followed us for eight holes. At one point I leaned over and said to my caddie, 'I see a beautiful blonde over there, wearing nice pants with a beautiful ass. I want to know exactly where she is on every part of the golf course.' I would be waiting for my turn to hit, and I'd look over at her. Our eyes locked for a moment, and I smiled. And she smiled back. When I went to the driving range, I saw her there and we started talking—in English!"
If there's a man in sports with whom you'd prefer to go for a pint with, you may need to reevaluate your choices.