We’re a selfish breed at the end of it all.

The GAA is a sport like no other when it comes to camaraderie, you play for your county, your parish, your family and your teammates.

Sometimes though, you just want to play for yourself. It goes against the whole ethos of the game but we’re all a little bit selfish from time to time.

Whether it’s wanting to start or wanting to score or just, in general, having your own best interests at heart.

Here are some of the selfish and irrational thoughts that go through every players head.

1. I sort of hope my teammate gets injured

Look, you’d never admit it aloud but we’ve all thought it. There’s that one lad that you just don’t rate at all but the manager sees something in him. He’s missing tackles. kicking away stupid possession and taking pot shots that just aren’t going over the bar.

Would someone just give him a belt, nothing too serious but enough that he has to be taken off. Please!

2. Wanting your county to be knocked out so you can have your best player back

About 28 counties know every year that they can’t win the Sam Maguire, again you’ll never say it out loud but you just kind of want your county to be knocked out so club championship can resume sooner rather than later and your county star is back for some league games which could help push you up the table.

3. Do not pass him the ball

Similar to the lad that you kind of want to get injured, you want this player off but mostly because he’s brutal.

If you kick a long ball to him he probably won’t win it, if he does he’ll probably do something stupid with it. Unlike the guy you want to get injured the manager knows this fella is useless but has to give everyone some game time.

He’s normally stuck in corner forward so as not to cause too much damage but my god when he does actually get the ball into his hands you have just about everyone screaming at him not to shoot and he does it anyway as if to try prove a point that he’s good. He’s not. It’s not his fault though that he missed, it’s your teammates fault for passing to him.

4. Actually, pass him the ball so everyone can see how useless he is

How many times does it have to happen for the penny to drop, after four missed attempts on goal people are starting to realise that the lad isn’t up to much.

It has happened enough times that you’re no longer pissed off so what’s one more to drive home the point that nobody should think of giving him the ball even if he is in the best position.

5. Keep the ball on my side of the pitch

For any of us playing on the wing or in the corner, there is nothing worse than the ball being on the opposite side of the pitch. You just want to get on the ball, the game is more fun that way.

It doesn’t matter that the other side is less congested. You just want to be in possession for as much as you can, it’s your time to shine.

6. Who appointed this gobshite as captain?

Who does this lad think he is? Barely trains and is the captain, he’s not even close to being the best player on the team. He can g’way if he thinks I’m doing his poxy warm up and when stretches come around he better believe that I’ll be the one doing all the counting. I’m the real leader in all of this.

7. Why is this lad the manager?

Okay, this thought normally arises after something frustrating happens to you.

Whether it’s because you were dropped to the subs bench, don’t agree with the changes made during the match or aren’t happy with training. In the heat of the moment you don’t take into consideration the time and effort he’s putting into your club and your team even if you don’t agree with everything he does.

8. I hope we do this drill

Everyone has a drill that they’re good at and you’d be chomping at the bit if the banisteoir ever decided that you were doing it.

For some lads its the fitness test, they mightn’t be good at football but jaysus they can run, for some it’s a tackling drill and for some it’s shooting under pressure. We all have the good parts of our games and just want to make everyone else look bad.

9. At least if I score I won’t get a bollocking

We’ll set the scene, you’re 10 points down in a game that all the lads thought was an easy win. The manager is boiling up on the sideline and the post match team talk is not going to be pretty, this calls for only one course of action.

Saving your own skin.

Instead of helping the defensive efforts and going damage control just hang up in the forwards and pop a couple of scores. Your absence from the backline may be at the expense of a couple of goals but your two late points will save you a royal bollocking from the manager in the dressing room.

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