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12th Apr 2017

11 types of sulkers on your GAA team when they find out they’ve been dropped

We all know these guys

Conan Doherty

Listen, the manager isn’t out to get you.

No matter what you think, no matter how bonkers this decision to drop you is, there’s no agenda against you. The boss wants to win this match more than you do so the team’s been picked to do just that.

But it’s hard to believe that when you’ve just been given the news that 15 people have been selected to go out and play and you’re not part of those plans.

People react in different ways and we’re all probably guilty of  one of the following.

1. The one who doesn’t take part in the warm-up

What’s the point? You’ll only have to warm up later if you’re coming on.

2. The one who reverts to an individual warm-up

Suddenly needs to practice frees. Visibly annoyed and almost daring the manager to say something.

3. The one shaking the head non-stop

The team’s being named in the changing room and there’s an unfamiliar figure on the starting 15. It’s clear you’re not going to be picked now so you spend the rest of the announcement shaking your head in disgust and rolling your eyes.

4. The one who just goes home

F**k this. You didn’t come here to sit on the bench.

5. The one who gets needlessly aggressive

Absolutely hammering into players during the warm-up, fists closed, studs trampling on toes everywhere. Blasting balls at the younger players and hitting kids with unexpected shoulders just because they’ve had the audacity to win a starting jersey.

6. The one who’s falsely okay

Ah, it’s not about him. Just go out and win. Very noble.

7. The one completely overcompensating

Determined to show the coach that you’re going to take it well, you’re the first at the cone, you’re barking orders, encouraging lads, telling them they need to do better, and helping everyone get ready to go do the job – even without you. A real team player.

Piss off.

8. The snake

One by one, gathering the rest of the subs and asking them open-ended questions like: this is bullshit, isn’t it? Might even venture into some players of the first team to ask their thoughts on such and such playing. A conspirator who’s looking to start a verbal revolt rather just actually doing something about not starting.

9. The old-timer

Not starting but feels like it’s a duty to gee everyone up. “Would love to be playing”, but doesn’t have that luxury anymore. Probably never played if truth be told but is enjoying the position of being an old head with experience now – even with little experience.

10. The one who takes it upon himself to warm-up on the sideline when someone f**ks up

Just to put the idea in the manager’s head. They’re not happy with whatever player right now so you might as well show them the other options they have. A loud, tactical unzipping of the jacket might provide a nudge in the right direction too.

11. The one who says he’s injured when he’s eventually asked to go on

That’ll show him. That’ll prove the manager wrong…

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