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Football

26th Sep 2016

World rejoices as FIFA solves racism – world peace and global warming next on ‘to do’ list

Great job, guys

Rob Burnett

The United Nations, Amnesty International, the Pope and world leaders joined forces today to pay tribute to FIFA president Gianni Infantino after the football governing body officially brought an end to racism.

Concerned by incidents of racist abuse seen in the game, FIFA set up a special task force back in 2013 to tackle the problem.

And this week they wrote to members of the task force to confirm it had “completely fulfilled its temporary mission” and therefore “is hereby dissolved and no longer in operation”.

In a letter to members, Gerd Dembowski, Fifa’s diversity and anti-discrimination manager wrote: “The Fifa Task Force Against Racism and Discrimination was set up with your help on a temporary basis to develop recommendations for Fifa.

“We are therefore delighted to inform you that all of the task force’s recommendations have been implemented and all resulting projects are ongoing.”

The news that the evil of racism has been defeated once and for all was met with joyous outpourings of delight from people all over the world:

https://twitter.com/john_herrmann23/status/780311463772712960

https://twitter.com/kdoooogggg/status/780320976173142017

https://twitter.com/Sam_Denyer/status/780290282839478272

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An historic achievement that puts Infantino and his band of plucky campaigners in the same league as Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King, the international community is now ready to ask FIFA to step in and help solve the problems of poverty, starvation and pollution, bring peace to the Middle East and end all disease.

Great work guys. Now we can all look forward to the 2018 World Cup in Russia with no fear of any racial abuse problems. Phew!

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