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01st Sep 2016

Sky Sports reporter takes no s**t from member of the public on deadline day

No messing

Nooruddean Choudry

Not on his watch.

It used to be something of a merry tradition; a cold and wet Sky Sports News reporter standing affront of gawking, gurning football fans whilst reeling off the latest ‘facts’ about a proposed loan move for Glen Johnson. Sadly all that is history.

It was all fun and games until someone brought a purple dildo to a gun fight. The singular act of probing Alan Irwin’s ear with a sex toy signalled the end of an era, and from that day onwards, all outside broadcasts were recorded away from the public.

Image result for sky sports dildo

As such, Wednesday’s transfer deadline day passed us by in largely uneventful fashion, as far as vibrating pleasure rods in people’s faces go at least. But there was one incident late into the night that was expertly dealt with by the SSN staff.

Sky man Charles Paterson was reporting from the base of Scotland’s national team, presumably to clarify whether any players had been given special permission to leave and secure a move. But he was also joined by two unexpected special guests.

Image result for sky sports dildo

They were wedding crashers – or rather wedding guests who were crashing his live broadcast. The thing is, Charles was in no mood to indulge their possibly inebriated shenanigans. After all, he wasn’t to know whether they were concealing rogue vibrators.

First a woman just yelled ‘WAAAHAAAAYYYY!!!’ down the camera lens, and then a cheeky chappy stood himself next to Paterson. Being something of a smartarse, he interjected the transfer report with: “We’re not gonna take your deal!”

Charles wasn’t having any of it and dealt with it all with SAS-style efficiency. He firmly shoved the bloke out of shot and commanding: “No! No! No! Thanks very much!”

What an absolute pro. And his ears kept their virginity intact too.

The new GAA Hour football podcast is here. Listen to Colm Parkinson, Senan Connell, and Barry Cahill dissect a classic between Dublin and Kerry. Subscribe here on iTunes.

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