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Football

12th Jan 2017

Six stages to pretending like your goalkeeper has “his mojo back”

Give me a break

Conan Doherty

One of the biggest limitations on Liverpool Football Club in the last two decades has been their choice of goalkeepers.

The scale of what Jurgen Klopp is doing at Anfield with this team has never been better demonstrated than in recent weeks when he’s had to rely on some of his backup players.

You only really realise just how good the German is and just how miraculous his turnaround at Liverpool has been when you realise just exactly what he’s working with. When boys like Lallana or Henderson have been injured or when one of the defenders go missing or players are rested for a cup game, then you see how tightly Klopp’s hands are tied because, in their places, you get Lucas, you get Alberto Moreno, you get Ragnar Klavan.

Where do you even find someone like Klavan? How, if you need a defender, do you go to Estonia and pick up the 31-year-old?

“He played against the Faroes and I remember studying him before matches and thinking he was a bit of a weak link,” Brian Kerr was calling it as early as the summer.

But then you get down to the real issues, the chronic issues. Then you get down to the goalkeepers.

When you don’t want to play Simon Mignolet, you have to play Loris Karius. Imagine those were your two options. Imagine those were your two options and you’re challenging for the title.

Liverpool have one of the most exciting teams in England this season. Only Klopp would throw Lallana in as one of his midfield three – and not play more cautiously by pushing his expressive players further forward, less risk and that. No other manager would do that in the Premier League.

Sadio Mané has been absolutely frightening. Coutinho is just downright mouthwatering. Never has a footballer so filthy been so right.

But it never seems to matter how well Liverpool are set up or how rampant or cut-throat they are at times because they’re always just another wobbler or another indecisive piece of goalkeeping away from having the rug stripped from beneath them.

And it’s been like that since the 20th century. Ever since Brad Friedel was allowed to leave so they could focus their attentions on Sander Westerveld, the club have refused to go out and get a number one fitting of league champions.

Westerveld, Dudek, Reina, and Mignolet were tried and tried and tried instead.

This season, the Karius experiment was shorter.

Listen, Karius is still just 23, he’s still dashingly handsome but will Liverpool ever win the league with him as their first choice ‘keeper? I think even the most staunch Red knows the answer to that one.

But Southampton’s failure to put Liverpool to the sword in the first leg of their League Cup semi-final on Wednesday night brought with it some pretty cringeworthy praise of the German stopper. It was mostly just patronising.

But the #LFCFamily sticks together so there was what felt like at times a concerted effort by the masses to boost Karius’ confidence again after his early season woes. Before you knew it, people seemed to genuinely convince themselves that the Liverpool number one actually put on a world class performance.

There were a number of steps to achieving this.

1. When your ‘keeper makes a decent stop, call it world class

He actually trips over the ball and falls on his face. He still saved it though.

It’s actually a shit enough finish though.

World class though.

2. When your ‘keeper concedes, say he could do nothing about it

Goals happen.

3. When your ‘keeper parries a routine save into the box, lose your shit

Ho. Ly. Shit.

https://twitter.com/BalIonDor/status/819279827937198081

Imagine that tame effort went anywhere near going into the Liverpool net. It’d have been the worst of all of Karius’ blunders.

4. If you’ve slated him before, praise him

It has a lot more weight if you slagged him in the past.

5. When your goalkeeper flaps, call it a good decision

A flap? What flap?

6. Compare him to the best ‘keeper in the league

It takes time.

If De Gea had made those saves, he’d probably have caught the ball.

What he said.

A night that wasn’t horrible for Loris Karius.

  • One grand save
  • One save that, if he doesn’t make, he should have his contract terminated
  • One flap

Overall, a big improvement.

Or world class.

https://twitter.com/ayallore/status/819376376633401344

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