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13th Mar 2019

Luis Suarez nutmeg steals Lyon player’s soul without him even touching the ball

Wayne Farry

Does the human soul actually exist?

The topic of the human soul is one that has perplexed humans since the dawn of time. Plato believed there are three different kinds of souls: rational, spirited, appetitive. Others believe it the soul is not real and is merely a means for us to explain why we feel what we do when we are little more than lumps of flesh that can talk.

Regardless of what camp you sit in, we can all agree that even if you believe Lyon’s Marcelo had a soul coming into Wednesday night’s match with Barcelona, he definitely does not anymore.

No, Marcelo’s soul was unfortunately stolen by one Luis Suarez at the Camp Nou, and the Uruguayan did so with the sort of nutmeg that we usually only read about in storybooks or hear about from our grandfathers who like to talk rubbish.

After seeing this, we’ll be the ones who talk rubbish in years to come. Suarez received the ball, sort of, after a pass from defender Lenglet, but he never had any intention of touching it.

Instead, Luis Suarez just kept his eye on the ball and pretended he was going to touch it. Instead, he just followed the ball and let it run through Marcelo’s legs, at which point – we can safely assume – his soul went somewhere, anywhere, but not his body.

Where will Marcelo’s soul go? Who knows. It may wander the earth for eternity and wonder what might have been had its mortal vessel just remained a few yards back, or it may go to that place where all nutmegged souls go to sit, rest and thank God it won’t ever happen to them again.