Everybody go home, the most bullshit transfer rumour of the summer is here
There's a reason that summertime is called silly season.
We've only been starved of football for a week since Euro 2016 finished, but already the transfer rumour gods have dialled things up to 11 with their latest offering.
We understand that it's hard to get any attention at the moment considering all the crap going on in the world, but that doesn't mean you can just bust out your transfer rumour madlibs and throw out something like this.
According to the all-knowing Marca in Spain, Real Madrid forward James Rodriguez is considering a move away from the European Champions.
That might not seem too ridiculous, since the Colombian has failed to live up to the hype that his 2014 World Cup performances commanded and so he may seek to join a team where he can be the main man rather than sitting behind Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo. No, what's ridiculous is the destination.
The Spanish paper are claiming that the 25-year-old may be on his way to east London to join up with West Ham United. Yes, that West Ham United are apparently ready to splash out £67m for the Colombian superstar.
Sure, they do have everyone's favourite player of the Euro 2016 group stages in Dimitri Payet and everyone's favourite Euro 2016 analyst in Slaven Bilic, but we just can't see Rodriguez joining a team who finished seventh in the Premier League last season.
But hey, maybe he was won over by their incredible rapping skills at their new kit launch.
Regardless, fans aren't convinced.
Eurosport: "West Ham are set to bid €80m for James Rodriguez." There are so many things wrong with that sentence. Absolutely bonkers.
— FK ☕️ (@fkhanage) July 16, 2016
West Ham fans think they have a chance of signing James Rodriguez... pic.twitter.com/vDPOVXJXWU
— Klopp to the top (@Istancredibul) July 17, 2016
I've heard some dumb transfer rumours in my time but James Rodriguez to West Ham tops them all
— GR (@GeorgeRobbins10) July 17, 2016
James Rodriguez to Westham is the most bizarre,ridiculous and silliest rumour ever in the history of football.
— Mr.RaiizBanks (@Mubdeep) July 17, 2016
West Ham are pondering a move for Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez? 😂😂😂😰
— Consolazione (@kh0motso) July 17, 2016