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26th Jun 2024

England named ‘laughing stock of Europe’ with every other team hoping to play them next

Zoe Hodges

‘These lions are kittens’

Gareth Southgate’s side have received a roasting by European press after last night’s goalless draw with Slovenia, as the Three Lions limped into the knock-out stages, qualifying top of Group C.

England scored just two goals in the group stages of the competition, registering a win and two draws.

By their own pundits they have been slammed as ‘basic’ and ‘tired’ and the tournament favourites have now been cruelly mocked by the rest of Europe.

German outlet Bild rebranded Southgate’s side with Erik Peters saying: “These lions are kittens!”

The outlet that rates players from one to six, with six being the worst, gave seven England stars a five.

Declan Rice received the highest rating of three whilst Foden was slammed for ‘having too little influence on the game’ and Saka ‘had little chance to make an impact’. On the whole they branded the performance as ‘frightening’ from an England perspective.

Meanwhile, French publication L’Equipe featured captain Harry Kane in an article highlighting their ‘top-flops’ at Euro 2024. Another headline on their website was titled: “Oh England… Next embarrassing appearance by Kane squad.”

The Italian publication La’Repubblica mocked ‘Little England’ and singled out Jude Bellingham for his ‘listless’ performance.

Spanish publication Marca questioned Southgate saying: “You start to wonder what his plan actually is.”

Christoph Kramer, a pundit on German broadcaster ZDF, echoed that the England manager lacked a plan. He said: “You can tell by his facial expressions and his gestures. Southgate can’t possibly have a plan in his head!

“He simply sends the eleven into the race. It does not matter who plays the game.”

This all came after Serbian manager, Dragan Stojkovic had a cheeky dig at England in his post-match press conference after his side exited the competition after a goalless draw with Denmark.

Stojkovic said: “Everyone thought England might be some miracle from another planet but they were nothing like that. The expectations were just different.”

Though they go through as group winners, it seems most of Europe fancy their chances against this labouring England side who will find out who their next opponents will be tonight.

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Euros 2024