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Football

30th May 2019

Chelsea win, Sarri immediately whips out massive cigar

Wayne Farry

Go on, Maurizio, you deserve it mate.

Maurizio Sarri fucking loves nicotine. He’s a football manager and as such likes the sport – at least a bit – but his true love is obviously sweet, sweet cigarettes. Or in some cases cigars.

For 90 minutes at the Olympic Stadium in Baku, Azerbaijan he would’ve been primarily focussed on football, aside from what we can only assume were two cheeky half-time ciggies in the tunnel.

In the end, he had little to worry about on the pitch, despite the fact that it was goalless between his Chelsea side and Arsenal at half-time of their Europa League final.

That’s because in the space of 20 second half minutes his team were 3-0 up and coasting. Sure, Arsenal scored what looked like it could be the beginning of a comeback, before Eden Hazard quickly restored their three-goal lead minutes later.

It was a piece of piss for Chelsea, and Maurizio Sarri had his first ever trophy as a manager at the age of 60.

When the final whistle went, the players and fans of Chelsea erupted in celebration, as is their wont.

They ran around, hugging each other, dancing about and generally doing the things that football teams do when they win trophies.

Their manager though had eyes for only one thing, and that was a big fuck off cigar he had clearly been sucking on and smelling for the entire match when the camera wasn’t looking at him.

Look at him there, staring at that cigar like it is the greatest thing in the world. Ross Barkley, too, knows how much he wants it. How much he’s been coveting it.

He’s got his hands on it now, although he has most likely finished it and is on to his fifth cigar of the night.