India is now and will forever be regarded as a cricket-obsessed country, but they love their football too.
In 2014 I saw Michael Chopra and David James lead Kerala Blaster to the Indian Super League final with a win over Chennai - the atmosphere in Cochin's Kaloor International Stadium was among the most intense I ever experienced.
Attracted to the short season, big wages and exotic destination, plenty of stars have headed to the subcontinent to bolster the retirement package.
Among them is former Chelsea and Lyon attacker Florent Malouda, who was lining out for Delhi Dynamos this season, until their rather ignominious elimination at the penultimate stage at the hands of the mighty Blasters.
By all accounts the 36-year-old Frenchman had a fine game, up until a penalty shootout that saw the capital side miss all three kicks.
Malouda set the tone with this opener, which has reportedly just landed somewhere near the Pakistan border.
https://twitter.com/FootballCliches/status/809741177297707008
So much makes this penalty miss special however.
Firstly, the fact a motorbike on a plinth is in pride of place in the huge no man's land between crowd and pitch.
For Malouda's getaway?
The Delhi goalkeeper's dramatic show of not watching.
He can't watch, you see?
Malouda's pre run-up shuffle.
If we learned anything from Simone Zaza it is it that you avoid any shuffling of your feet.
The commentators' utter faith in Malouda because "he's got his eyes".
It is his left foot you should be concerned about, lads.
The length of time it takes the officials to realise the ball has gone over the bar.
They could not believe their eyes, because Malouda, with his eyes, was sure to score.
Finally, Ian Rush's aghast reaction.
Why is Rushy there? Why is he dressed like the Joker? Who cares. Bollywood awaits.
