If ever you find yourself in a paper bag and are in need of someone to coach you out of it, Arsene Wenger is not your man.
And don't take that from us, take it from his former captain, Tony Adams.
As you've probably heard by now, Adams used the metaphor when writing in his new book about the Arsenal boss's inability to coach football. The extract from his book, serialised in The Sun, was widely circulated on Friday ahead of Arsenal's final match of the season against Everton.
Adams had been trying to explain why he wasn't wanted back at the club at which he'd spent his entire playing career. As you might expect, it didn't go down too well with Wenger himself.
"I do not give too much importance to what Tony Adams says," Wenger said.
"He can show what he can do now. Who gives importance to that? I know him for a long time. It's sad."
On the very same day that he took a swipe at his former manager, Adams oversaw another defeat for the Granada side which he took over in March.
A 2-1 loss at home was the club's seventh in a row and confirmed their relegation from La Liga. Clearly, Adams isn't entirely to blame for his failure to turn Granada's form around in his short stint as manager, but plenty were quick to point to the irony of his comments about Wenger given the timing of his club's relegation.
https://twitter.com/GaryBMarshall/status/865847659520823296
https://twitter.com/geeums/status/865773960335687680
https://twitter.com/HappyandAware/status/865830033746800641
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Perhaps Wenger should take note of these post-match words of wisdom?
https://twitter.com/hawkes_mike/status/865678496693194752
"You can't keep making mistakes like that and giving opponents goals... you're going to end up bottom of the table."
It remains to be seen whether Adams will stay in charge at the club next season to try and get them back into the Spanish top flight.
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