Tim Howard recalls the first time he felt the wrath of a f**k-filled Fergie rant

You'd think with such a lovely bald head that Tim Howard would never have the need for a hairdryer.

Alex Ferguson disagreed and was only too happy to give the American 'keeper the infamous treatment after Howard conceded from a Thierry Henry free-kick, 35 yards out, on his Manchester United debut in the 2003 Community Shield. The current Everton number one recalls in his new autobiography, 'The Keeper', that he had no chance at getting to Henry's strike that was struck "with such power and precision that it rendered the wall useless." Fergie liked that excuse about as much as he likes a balloon being popped and Howard reveals that, at halftime, the Scot "just about took my head off." "'A three-man wall!' he shouted, the muscles around his jaw so tight I could see them flex. 'Against Henry! You needed four men on that wall. You've got to think' - he jabbed both index fingers at his forehead - 'when you play this game.' "'If you cannae handle the f*****g stage' - his Scottish accent was coming through loud and clear - "I'll send you right back to the MLS.' "His final words to me were soaked in derision. 'You're not in America anymore, son.'" Howard went on to make 45 appearances for Manchester United between 2003 and 2006 but we're betting that he had few more memorable experiences under Fergie than the first time he felt the wrath of the hairdryer treatment.