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Published 22:12 13 Mar 2015 GMT
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'We would prefer to resolve the problem amicably. We are a non-profit organisation and are committed to ensure that young people find meaningful leisure activities. For our players, it's an honour to play under the name Real Madrid Zurich. We want to sell the domain at an auction.'Insert joke here about putting the money from the auction in a Swiss Bank account. We do love the graphic accompanying the original piece that imagines Ronaldo as a modern day Godzilla squishing the club underfoot.
H/T to Bleacher Report21-year-old French footballer dies after drowning amid heatwave
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