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Published 23:24 21 Mar 2016 GMT
Updated 02:09 22 Mar 2016 GMT
Sometimes the component parts of a story are so bizarre they leave you intrigued as to the other details.
But when you've got Nutella, poker, international football and bags of cash, it's tough for most people's imaginations to create something better with the component parts.
For what it's worth, Löw has said the Mannschaft need players who are focused on their football, and who are aware of the role model status they hold.
In fairness, you can probably see why carelessness with money and overindulgence on sugary foods are the exact opposite of the message many parents would want their kids picking up from their footballing idols.
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