Former Fifa executive Jack Warner uses story from The Onion to attack United States

You couldn't make it up

Except in this instance, because as anyone who has ever had cause to accidentally wander onto the internet knows, that is exactly what The Onion has been doing for years. Spare a thought then for Jack Warner (no need to spare a penny, if the many accusations and his recent indictment are to be believed then he's alright on that front), the former Fifa vice-president who has been quoting the satirical website as part of his latest criticism of the United States' efforts to clean up football's governing body. In a video posted on his Facebook page (and unfortunately later removed), Warner held up a printout of a headline from The Onion which read: “Fifa Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States.” The story goes on to suggest "Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon", yet Warner insisted this was further evidence of US "double standards". He wonders: "If Fifa is so bad, why is it the US wants … the World Cup? [Fifa is] the very same organization they are accusing of being corrupt. That has to be double standards." We're expecting further updates from The Onion's Fifa investigations at any moment. [h/t Fox Soccer]