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Published 21:28 9 Sept 2018 BST
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"The other United players would try to wind him up. 'Whatever. Leo Messi is a better player than you.'
"And he would shrug his shoulders and smile again. 'Ah yes. But Messi does not look like this.'"
With stories such as the above contained within, Crouch's autobiography How to be a footballer sounds like a must-read.
We've already learned how Roy Keane managed to convince the 6ft 6in centre-forward to sell his Aston Martin just days after he bought it with one disapproving glare.
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