SBG star Chris Fields gives refreshingly honest comments on his struggles with anxiety

"Until a person competes at an elite level, it's nearly impossible for people to understand the amount of selfishness that's required to get there. If you expect to stay close to people at an elite level you have to learn to accept this," - Garry Tonon.

SBG light heavyweight Chris Fields realises that selfishness is an important facet of being an elite athlete. The greats always prioritise number one. They put the blinkers on and will themselves to improve at all cost. This trait is very prevalent among competitors in combat sports. When you fight for a living, not being selfish with your training could be the difference between getting your hand raised and waking up on a stretcher being carried out of the arena. Closing off the outside world in preparation for battle can cause strain on personal relationships. Family man Fields admits struggling to find the right balance between selfishness and humanity in the past.

"I probably struggled a little bit with not being selfish enough. But, when it's all said and done, you have to be a human. You've got to live with the choices you've made in those instances. If not being overly selfish has maybe held me back in my career, I'm alright with that.  "I'm sure my wife could tell you more about that than I could. There's ups and downs. Getting humbled makes you a better person, so you bring that home with you."

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The fear

Fields opened up about his battle with anxiety heading into a fight. It wasn't the prospect of getting badly hurt that caused all those sleepless nights, it was the potential for embarrassment. The worry stemmed from the possibility of failing to display his full potential.

"Coming close to the fights is where things get a bit more difficult. I don't lie about this - obviously I get anxiety and all that kind of stuff about the fight. You're kind of worried, probably a little bit scared and then you're at home and you're kind of taking that out on other people. "I just don't want to underperform. I know how good I am and at times, I haven't shown it when I've underperformed. It's always about the performance. I'm not worried about getting hurt or anything. I know enough about the sport, I've been in a billion corners."

"I used to wake up at 3 am staring at the ceiling"

In his own words, Fields has been 'lucky enough to have a very understanding wife who has put up with shit since 2008.' The support system she provides makes the process of mentally preparing for a fight 'easy'. However, that hasn't always been the case.

"I do a lot better now, but back in the day, I used to wake up at 3 am staring at the ceiling and stuff. I like talking about this because I think a lot of young guys pretend it's not happening to them. Just accept that it's happening and get on with it. You know it's there." "I know the feeling, so it's like, 'Oh that's that thing.' 'That's that.' 'Oh, I know this thing.' 'I need to pee a hundred times before the fight. That happens every time.' It's normalised, almost. Being in it, competing regularly, making a similar situation in the gym helps."

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Coach

SBG Swords has been up and running for two years. Fields opened the gym alongside Tom King, the first of John Kavanagh's students to earn a black belt under Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Irish MMA pioneer and UFC veteran Ais Daly coaches the female classes, which Fields claims is the biggest 'proper women's class' of all the SBG's. Fields often the sees the same anxiety he was forced to deal with in his students. Drawing from his own experiences, he has developed measures to help his fighters tackle it.

"Sometimes I get the guys to spar where they come in and don't talk to each other. There's no friendliness beforehand. One gets geared up one end, the other gets geared up the other end. I'm in the middle for the rounds. Or when a new guy comes to spar and you don't know anything about him.  "It does have to be normalised, you see it in young lads, I see it all the time when they're performing, they're just crippled."

Passion

A lot of soul-searching, self-assessment and being humbled sparked a mentality change for Fields. He confessed to no longer putting an emphasis on reaching the UFC. He came up just short of this goal during his run on season 19 of the Ultimate Fighter in 2014. Since then, he's learned to appreciate the journey rather than put all his focus on a particular destination.

"I started as a professional athlete at age 25. I have no business doing what I did in this sport. No business at all. Getting into a professional sport at 25 years of age and carving out a niche for yourself with people knowing your name and all, I'm very happy with how things are going for me." "I fight because I enjoy fighting. I fight because it's my passion and it's what I enjoy doing. If I went home after this fight and was like, 'I didn't really enjoy that as much,' I don't think I'd do it again. I don't need to do it, I do it because I love it which is a really kind of pure thing to me. That's important." 

Up next for Fields is a clash against former UFC fighter Wagner Prado (13-3) at KSW 44. If Fields is victorious, a crack at light heavyweight champion Tomasz Narkun will likely be his next bout. KSW 44 takes place in the Ergo Arena, Gdansk on Saturday 9 June. Feature image credit: KSW