IT’S HERE: 33 things that will definitely happen during Cheltenham week

It will all be about the racing, right? Wrong. We can assure* you that all this will happen.

*Assurances not assured.

1. Newspapers are jumping on the bandwagon

2. The digital world are all over it, too

 

3. Journalists have suddenly acquired an in-depth knowledge of the sport

4. The sure-fire tips are beginning to circulate

  And circulate...   And circulate...   And circulate...   And circulate...   And circulate...   Until...

5. Bookmakers are fighting for attention

https://twitter.com/StrattonBookies/status/573559880574963712

6. An innocent groundsman is caught off-guard and gives an awkward interview

7. He becomes an overnight celebrity off the back it

8. Labour politician Andy Burnham shows up with Lily Allen

9. The Tories quickly react

10. A random footballer is pictured at the event

11. Footballers at home show that they're down with it, too

12. The Man City YouTube channel does something shit, but current

13. Someone asks Joe Schmidt for some tips

14. A Gareth Gates lookalike is spotted in the crowd

Before a bookmaker jumps to claim the glory.

15. Someone is winning big with a ridiculous bet

16. Twitter's trending list tells the tale of the day

17. John McCririck gets sacked for saying something ridiculous

18. Someone spots the name of a horse that's racing later

19. Niall Horan reveals he has a horse racing and ruins everyone's life

20. A highbrow columnist is not happy with Cheltenham

21. Frankie Boyle responds in Frankie Boyle fashion

22. A random Irish jockey wins and he's a national hero

23. The media reacts to his win

24. The 8 million "tipster" accounts on Twitter get very excited

https://twitter.com/CheltenhamTips/status/709641553694760960 https://twitter.com/BookieBashers/status/709646607726321664 https://twitter.com/ThePuntersPage/status/709659049357348864

25. League of Ireland fans aren't happy with the fixture clash

26. Tommy Joe's big win has made him famous

27. The tips are being abused at this stage

https://twitter.com/WINNING__0/status/574266271358935040

28. The urban legends do the rounds again

29. John McCririck gets sacked for saying something ridiculous

30. Someone throws a beer can and endangers lives

31. Horse-racing punters are dropping to the bottom of the barrel

32. Ruby Walsh wins the Gold Cup and someone figures out why

33. The thing dies down and feels like a big anti-climax