The 14 stages of hunting down an All-Ireland final ticket
You're in the final. Great.
Now just go get your ticket. Oh...
Not that straightforward, is it?
The build-up to an All-Ireland final is supposed to be savoured but, instead, it's just 14 pain-staking and disappointingly inevitable stages that we all go through in pursuit of one tiny ticket.
1. Get your season ticket in January.
Decent plan. What could go wrong?
2. Throw it out in September.
You haven't been to 60 per cent of the matches, it's no good to you now.
3. The text.
4. The backlash.
5. You can't afford to fall out with anyone.
6. Seek out long lost relatives from different counties.
Ask them about their families - double check with their parents who's still alive and who isn't. Make an in-joke about the amount of tea you drank at that wake 11 years ago.
Tell them exactly where they can get tickets for you - every club gets two after all. Tell them to go get them.
7. Raffles and quizzes
Yes, it's desperation stuff but it's best to have this covered before you carry on with the real work.
8. Club draws
MayoGAABlog summed up the struggle last year with this brilliant summation of where exactly everyone could enter every club draw.
9. Pay your club membership
They know how to get you.
10. Retweet and follow, like and share.
We are giving away 2 All-Ireland Football Final Tickets! Follow us & Retweet this pic to be in with a chance to win! pic.twitter.com/Srai9ZBYni
— GAA Handball Ireland (@GAA_Handball) September 9, 2013
11. Like and share.
Don't get caught out with the fake competitions though.
12. Reach out to a player.
Good luck with that.
14. You know the drill.
"Any spare tickets for the game, I'll buy."