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Published 20:51 16 Jan 2016 GMT
Updated 21:05 16 Jan 2016 GMT
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Two absolute stinking teams and a lot of fellas will count themselves very lucky not to make the cut. In fact, some of the names not included in the list could make two further teams just as bad but this is what we've gone with for our alternative United-Liverpool derby.
Manchester United
Massimo Taibi
He probably would've been good if his studs weren't so long.
Ronnie Wallwork
Most recent news on Ronnie: Avoided a jail sentence in the summer for stealing a car.
William Prunier
Never played for United again after shipping four goals against Spurs in his second game. 'Ferguson offered him an extended trial, but Prunier declined and decided he would look elsewhere' - ah, William, you're not editing your own Wikipedia page, are you?
Pat McGibbon
Five years, no games.
Luke Chadwick
If United didn't waste so much time investing in David bloody Beckham, who knows?
Eric Djemba-Djemba
Signed to replace Roy Keane.
Liam Miller
Signed to replace Roy Keane.
Zoran Tosic
Guided the reserves to a league runners-up medal.
Jordi Cruyff
If he's Johan's son, then Ali Dia really is George Weah's cousin.
David Bellion
Really fast. But really crap.
Dong Fangzhuo
Who?
Liverpool
Charles Itandje
Who'd have thought he wouldn't have made it after absolutely ripping it up on Football Manager?
Josemi
*Reaches for bucket*
Sotirios Kyrgiakos
Conned a club into thinking he was handy because he could head a ball 50 metres. Still waiting for him to come good.
Dejan Lovren
There are 20 million reasons why he belongs here but here's just one hilarious example.
Djimi Traore
...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8DDdQ8PJms
Nabil El Zhar
Five years at Liverpool. FIVE.
Jay Spearing
Merseyside boys get a bye ball at Anfield.
Ryan Babel
Another destined for greatness, Babel is now peaking at 27, playing for Kasimpasa Spor Kulübü. Would be better focusing on his rap career where he goes under the alias, Rio.
Andriy Voronin
Well, he has a nice ponytail.
Fabio Borini
€13.3m. Two goals.
David N'Gog
Had the last laugh by averaging better than a goal in every seven games during his time at Liverpool, Bolton and Swansea. Deadly.21-year-old French footballer dies after drowning amid heatwave
RIP. French footballer, Kenzo Kies, has sadly passed away due to a drowning tragedy in the river Rhone. The 21-year-old was with his three friends during the French heatwave where temperatures rose to 40°C in parts of the country this week. Although it is forbidden to swim in the river, Kies and his friends did […]
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