The best of the worst.
Manchester United and Liverpool have thrown up some crackers over the years. They’ve had some legends but they’ve also had some… not-so-legendary players in their ranks.
Neither side have been on a particularly good run of late but it’s nice to know that they’re at least not right down at the bottom of that pit that they’ve been flirting with.
So, in the spirit of celebrating them not being the worst they’ve ever been, we’ve had a look back over some of the teams’ worst players of recent times and we have no idea who would win in a match between this rubbish United XI and this horrendous Liverpool outfit?
Two absolute stinking teams and a lot of fellas will count themselves very lucky not to make the cut. In fact, some of the names not included in the list could make two further teams just as bad but this is what we’ve gone with for our alternative United-Liverpool derby.
Manchester United
Massimo Taibi
He probably would’ve been good if his studs weren’t so long.
Ronnie Wallwork
Most recent news on Ronnie: Avoided a jail sentence in the summer for stealing a car.
William Prunier
Never played for United again after shipping four goals against Spurs in his second game. ‘Ferguson offered him an extended trial, but Prunier declined and decided he would look elsewhere’ – ah, William, you’re not editing your own Wikipedia page, are you?
Pat McGibbon
Five years, no games.
Luke Chadwick
If United didn’t waste so much time investing in David bloody Beckham, who knows?
Eric Djemba-Djemba
Signed to replace Roy Keane.
Liam Miller
Signed to replace Roy Keane.
Zoran Tosic
Guided the reserves to a league runners-up medal.
Jordi Cruyff
If he’s Johan’s son, then Ali Dia really is George Weah’s cousin.
David Bellion
Really fast. But really crap.
Dong Fangzhuo
Who?
Liverpool
Charles Itandje
Who’d have thought he wouldn’t have made it after absolutely ripping it up on Football Manager?
Josemi
*Reaches for bucket*
Sotirios Kyrgiakos
Conned a club into thinking he was handy because he could head a ball 50 metres. Still waiting for him to come good.
Dejan Lovren
There are 20 million reasons why he belongs here but here’s just one hilarious example.
Djimi Traore
…
Nabil El Zhar
Five years at Liverpool. FIVE.
Jay Spearing
Merseyside boys get a bye ball at Anfield.
Ryan Babel
Another destined for greatness, Babel is now peaking at 27, playing for Kasimpasa Spor Kulübü. Would be better focusing on his rap career where he goes under the alias, Rio.
Andriy Voronin
Well, he has a nice ponytail.
Fabio Borini
€13.3m. Two goals.
David N’Gog
Had the last laugh by averaging better than a goal in every seven games during his time at Liverpool, Bolton and Swansea. Deadly.
