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02nd Dec 2015

WATCH: 5 Candidates to replace Gary Neville on Monday Night Football

(Well, 4 and Andy Townsend)

Mikey Stafford

Gaz will be missed on a Monday night.

It has always been a very important slot in our telly watching schedule. When we were younger it was Father Ted and Gazetta Football Italia but now it’s all about one show.

Some thought that Richard Keys and Andy Gray could not be replaced on Sky Sports’ flagship Monday Night Football but then along came a night in red armour – a footballer reviled by fans of all but one club who found his true calling explaining the game to the great unwashed.

Yes, Gary Neville was the man to tell us just how shit Aston Villa are, or why an in-form Cesc Fabregas is so much less a liability than a jaded and knacked Cesc Fabregas.

Along with his unlikely sidekick Jamie Carragher, Neville brought a level of erudition and sophistication to our Monday night football education but now it is lost, utterly lost.

Carragher is going to need a new punditry partner, so we’ve had a look at a few of the runners and riders.

Thierry Henry

Pros: Infinitely more handsome than Neville (sorry Gary), the former Arsenal and Barcelona man could bring a level of French sophistication to bear on affairs. After a tentative start he is beginning to realise that having opinions, especially negative ones, is a good thing in this job.

Cons: While he may be hiding his light under a bushel, there has been little evidence to date that Henry has Neville’s ability to communicate tactical analysis to the viewing public. Some folk in this country still don’t take kindly to his face.

Brendan Rodgers

Pros: Chiefly his availability and his unparalleled ability to talk, talk a lot. He would certainly back himself to slot into that tactical sensei thing Neville has had going on. It would be a privilege to see behind the velvet curtain and witness the genius at work.

Cons: Runs the risk of taking credit for the good periods of play he is asked to analyse. His take of Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool could go one of two ways, while Sky Sports would be unlikely to take a punt on a man who clearly feels he has lots still to prove in the game.They would hate to lose another pundit so soon after Neville.

Andy Townsend

Pros: Now, bear with us here. Oodles of experience, currently on the lookout for a new gig and, while his ability to claim dual nationality is not so relevant in the global Premier League, Townsend has lots to offer. Namely passion. He really cares about the outcome of the games he is watching, almost so much that he forgets to offer anything in the way of analysis.

Cons: May bring about the downfall of the English football economy by inspiring a mass cancellation of Sky Sports subscriptions.

Roy Keane

Pros: Pretty obvious, really. Unwavering thirst for the truth, unflinching hunger for conflict and inescapable death stare – the Republic of Ireland assistant manager is the total package. Effectively employed doing the same job as the one Neville was doing with England, so there would be no problem with him slotting uncomfortably in there beside Carragher.

Cons: His current employers at the FAI, but more especially ITV, would be loathe to lose the Corkman and there are still some questions about his tactical acumen after his disappointing spell at Ipswich. Unlikely to toe the Sky Sports party line and talk up 90 minutes of dross between West Brom and Norwich (which is another pro really).

Paul Scholes

Pros: Same as his former midfield partner Keano, just delivered with a drole Lancashire accent. Would keep up the Manchester United presence on MNF, while adding a violently anti-Louis Van Gaal element.

Cons: Currently working at BT Sports, producing an endless stream of anti-LVG soundbites, his services would not be bought cheaply. Perhaps lacks Neville’s enthusiasm for the tactical nuances – much like Keano, some times the very best footballers struggle to explain what it was that made them so great.

It’s a bit like asking Andy Townsend to explain punditry.

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