The three worst transfer rumours today: Man United shopping in Bournemouth
August 8 will be a long time coming.
The summer is tough.
You allow yourself to get to a stage during the season where you're so spoiled you're turning your nose up at having to watch the FA Cup. The Premier League and Champions League - even the bloody international breaks - serve up such endless drama, fun and talking points that the summer voids are too abrupt and drastic to cope with in any sort of reasonable manner.
The Women's World Cup allows you to keep the party going for a few weeks longer but football is coming to an end and whatever's left of it is being ruined by the use of VAR.
And, so, what else are you going to do other than dream up some transfer bullshit?
Steady though, because you're going to get it every day for the next seven weeks until the window shuts and the only thing is certain is that Ed Woodward and United will panic buy late on and pay over the odds for services they don't really need.
To that end, why not start at Old Trafford?
David Brooks to Manchester United
The Sun are reporting that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is chasing after David Brooks.
One Wales winger wasn't enough so they're going from Daniel James and Swansea to a more upmarket shop in Bournemouth to suss the value of another man turning 22 this year.
Things have turned this summer. When the craic over the last few years has been linking United with every single big name on the planet, now lower-level clubs are throwing their best assets in their way in the hope that they can ship them off for higher than market value.
Jorginho to Juventus
When you flatter to deceive at Chelsea, the next logical step is to get a move up to the best club in Italy and one of the genuine Champions League contenders.
Jorginho might well be talked about because of the new manager in Turin but, Christ, you'd like to think that Sarri has a bit more to him than this one trick.
The Mirror are running with it anyway.
John McGinn to Leicester City
The Leicester Mercury are telling us that Leicester are 'monitoring' John McGinn.
Shrewsbury are probably monitoring Juan Mata too but it doesn't really mean anything, does it?