“Winners take control.”
Robin Van Persie did not always take the popular decisions, in his football career. She lost some friends and ruffled some feathers along the way. But, as often as possible for a professional footballer, he was calling the shots.
After 22 years in the game, the Dutchman hung up his boots in 2019 and, soon after, took up a coaching job at Feyenoord. His son, Shaqueel, is in the club’s youth set-up and was on the other end of some no-nonsense advice, last year.
The former Arsenal and Manchester United striker sat down with Jake Humphrey and Professor Damian Hughes for an episode of the High Performance podcast.
“I think that everyone, now, is looking at the world in a slightly different way,” Humphrey tells us. “Football, in particular, has changed beyond all recognition.
“We had a conversation with Robin Van Persie, and he shared this amazing clip, where he gave advice to his son. He said, ‘Look, you can be a winner or a loser. You be a loser, I don’t mind. I will still love you the same. However, it’s up to you to make a decision about how you want to live your life? You go out there and take control’. That’s had over five million views on social media.”
‘Do you want to be a winner?’
During that wide-ranging chat, Van Persie shared the advice he gave to his son as they travelled home from an underage game between Feyenoord and Ajax. Van Persie recalled:
“He was a bit moody; disappointed. He was complaining about coaches etc. Then I said, ‘Shaqueel, you sound like a loser when you talk like that. You sound like you lost. You blaming him, blaming her, blaming this, blaming everything, but I don’t hear one single about yourself.
“‘Winners take control, they blame themselves and look where they can improve. This is what you should be thinking about. Ask yourself, are you a loser, or are you a winner?
“‘It doesn’t matter to me because I’m your dad. The only job I have, and your mum has, is to get you ready for life when you’re 20. You can make your mistakes, you can do whatever you want. I love you the same amount. It doesn’t matter to me whether you make it as a footballer or not. But you say that this is your passion, so you have to take control of your life and stop complaining’.”
Not everyone, at the time, was 100% on board with Van Persie’s message, or how he delivered it at least, but he knew what made him tick, and what would get through to his son.
The next time Shaqueel trained, Van Persie went along and saw a player with renewed vigour. “I saw this tiger! Training, working, running. And I though, ‘Okay, he realised he has to take control of his life’.”
Jake Humphrey on that Robin Van Persie advice
Humphrey can see where Van Persie was coming from with that advice he imparted to his son.
“Too many people are waiting for something before they feel like they’re really living,” he says.
“So, they’re either waiting for there to be no obstacles, no issues and no problems. And they think, ‘Well, I’ll finally be happy when I get to that point’. Well, guess what? You probably will never get to that point.
“All the way through your life there are going to be things that aren’t perfect. So you have to knock that idea [that everything will one day be perfect] on the head. There are people that are constantly saying, ‘When I achieve this’ or ‘When I get that, I’m going to have my moment of happiness’.”
“We talk on the podcast all the time that, it’s no about the destination, it’s the journey. That sounds clichéd, but it’s totally right.
“We’ve had top, top level footballers tell us they’ve won a trophy and felt no different. So, it has to be about the process.”
High Performance: Lessons From The Best On Becoming Your Best (by Jake Humphrey & Prof. Damian Hughes), published by Random House, is available to buy in hardback, as well as an eBook or audio book.
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