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Football

28th Jul 2016

PICS: Zenit Saint Petersburg go to depressing lengths to release their lovely new kits

RIP football

Conan Doherty

They went to the ends of the earth… literally.

Zenit St. Petersburg left no glacier unturned in their quest to grab attention with their new kits.

The Russian club released the 2016/17 jersey line and, in true modern-day football fashion, they jumped the shark with its reveal (or whatever swims in the Arctic).

We’ve seen worse, in fairness.

Last season, Liverpool had a big crowd and a big screen build up their unveiling.

This season, Manchester United had Juan Mata on stage with freestylers.

West Ham hired a rapper.

Atletico Mineiro had this.

Now, Zenit St. Petersburg have gone to an oil platform in the Arctic to make their announcement.

“The journey of Zenit to the Arctic came at the invitation of Gazprom Neft and the team started the journey in the early hours of the morning,” the report reads.

“The blue-white-sky blues flew to the village of Varandey and from there by helicopter to the platform. Here the workers on Prirazlomnaya became the first of our 15 million fans to see Zenit new home and away kits.”

Because those pictures couldn’t have been put in the club shop without all of that nonsense.

Just release the bloody kits.

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