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Football

14th Mar 2017

The nine stages of anger a Manchester United fan goes through after a loss

We all know someone like this

Conan Doherty

Football is a pain in the hole.

Every fan is biased. Every fan is emotional. Every fan is irrational.

Manchester United have lost a lot more big games in the last half decade than they have in a long, long time and it’s getting downright hard to get used to.

That culminates in a lot of aggression whenever another trophy invariably gets away from them. Here’s nine stages we’ve seen many a United fan go through following a defeat.

1. Fellaini. It’s always Fellaini’s fault.

Not now. Not now.

2. Who the f**k are you to slag Fellaini?

3. Getting hipster with your criticism now.

4. Everybody stay calm. Sort of.

5. Everybody f**k off.

6. The referee is a Scouser.

7. The money. The bloody money.

It ain’t that bad.

8. Remember you used to slag Liverpool fans for looking at history?

9. Now uncontrollably pissed off seeking people out late at night.

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