Don’t try this at home.
No, really, don’t do The Batshuayi. It’s stupid.
Christ knows what was going through the Belgium striker’s head before a size five was going through his head but his celebration for Adnan Januzaj’s goal against England was the biggest misfortune – not just of unintentional physics but of the global stage he performed it on.
After David Moyes’ favourite pupil put Roberto Martinez’s side ahead on Thursday night – however upset the Spaniard seemed by it – Michy Batshuayi upstaged one of the goals of the tournament with his lone antics afterwards.
When you're Scottish and your favourite player scores against England #WorldCup #ENG #BEL pic.twitter.com/NP0wfRkRvs
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) June 28, 2018
Januzaj’s quick feet and curling delight brought football fans all over the world to their feet in admiration of the former Manchester United player who, at the same time, almost took Danny Rose’s feet from beneath him.
Danny Rose sent for a f**king hotdog 👀 #WorldCup #ENG #BEL pic.twitter.com/tmE5iVIDmy
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) June 28, 2018
As Januzaj ran away to celebrate, Batshuayi decided to pick up the ball, absolutely lace it at the post and smack himself square in the face with the rebound.
Post 1-0 Batshuayi – Don't want to oversell it, but this may be the best 33 second clip you'll watch this World Cup. A slow motion replay of a contender for goal of the tournament followed by, well just watch yourself. #rtesoccer #worldcup #ENG #BEL pic.twitter.com/az31Mtc9pg
— RTÉ Soccer (@RTEsoccer) June 28, 2018
It was a strange ol’ celebration on a strange ol’ night.
It seems like England got the defeat they were apparently hoping for which, hilariously enough, means they will now not play Japan in the second round – who they would’ve beaten – and instead play Colombia, who they probably won’t beat.
For Colombia
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) June 28, 2018
Both countries advance however, as was expected in such a stinker of a stacked group but no fitness update has been issued on the head of Batshuayi.
They have The #Batshuayi perfected on the pitches of @Doiregaa 😂 pic.twitter.com/KWEZBelXzk
— SportsJOE (@SportsJOEdotie) June 28, 2018
