Search icon

Football

25th Mar 2019

JOE and SportsJOE set for all-decisive five-a-side derby in Ringsend ringer

Niall McIntyre

Brought to you by Intersport Elverys & adidas

Here we go again.

It’s the most talked about rivalry since Stephen Ward and the forward button on WhatsApp, and the talking is finally set to grind to a bitter halt.

JOE and SportsJOE will face off in their all-deciding Intersport Elverys five-a-side derby in Ringsend this Thursday with no less than the office bragging rights in the melting pot.

For years, JOE have claimed superiority but the up-and-coming SportsJOE band are a force to be reckoned with and are sick of being know as the little brother.

Wearing boots from the new adidas Exhibit range, both sides couldn’t be kitted out any better so there’s no excuses for wayward shots or poor touches.

It’s winner takes all, it’s a 20 minute journey to the bows of Landsdowne Road, but a journey into immortality beckons. This is what it’s all about.

Get the adidas Exhibit boots at Intersport Elverys right here.

Introducing the teams…

JOE team

Paddy McKenna

Drumshanbo’s finest son. Has a right foot like Emlyn Mulligan and a footballing brain to envy Terry Hyland’s. Like Mulligan, he too hasn’t played in Croke Park. He knows his way around Ringsend astroturf though and will make a fearless, vocal leader for this JOE team next Tuesday.

Alan Loughnane

How this misunderstood hurling star hasn’t made the Galway senior team is one of the great mysteries of his home county. Loughnane doesn’t bog himself down with such injustices however, and spends any spare time farming the land in Cappataggle.

Conor Heneghan

A Kiltimagh legend who was on the cusp of hanging up the boots at the beginning of the year. Thankfully for this JOE team, their star turn of all that Celebrity Bainisteoir fame was convinced to stay on for one last hurrah.

Carl Kinsella

The elder of the Kinsella brothers, Carl is renowned for his mouthing on the pitch and the story goes that he once called out a phantom grounds man at Ringsend astro turf.

The left winger would argue in an empty room but he’s well able to play too. Like a young Ricey McMenamin.

Rudi Kinsella

The skilful operator in the middle third who makes this JOE team tick. Pat McCarry will more than likely be tasked with ruffling Kinsella up, though the Firhouse Flyer has skinned more daunting challengers in the past.

Lloyd Murphy

Has an engine like Shergar and the rumour-mill has it that he’s been living off a €2 million ransom package….

SportsJOE team

Conan Doherty

Derry born Doherty models his game on heroes Cristiano Ronaldo and Paddy Bradley but resembles more of a Glenn Whelan type figure in reality. Dogged and work-man-like, he can always be trusted to get the job done and he’ll have his SportsJOE troops wired to the moon.

Pat McCarry

A teak tough Dubliner who has found a home away from home in county Kildare. You can take the man out of Tallaght but McCarry will still be found flinging himself into 30:70 tackles with the studs on show.

Niall McIntyre

The Tipperary youngster talks about his gym work more than a bodybuilder but is actually the skinniest player on show.

Stephen McCann

Struts around the park with a sweat-band and ankle socks but McCann’s silky skills give him leeway for the theatrics.

Matt Gill

Gill, once the next Tadhg Furlong as a rugby prospect in UCD, has switched codes and his physicality will be a huge weapon for this SportsJOE team.

Robert Redmond

A graduate of Ballyfermot’s famed youth academy, SportsJOE’s football brain is well able to play too.

Bring it on!

Intersport Elverys is your destination for football boots from all the top brands, including the latest from adidas. Head to your nearest store or shop online to get yourself kitted out!

Brought to you by Intersport Elverys & adidas

WATCH: Liverpool BOTTLED the title race 🤬 | Who will win the Premier League?