1. Be alive
Check for a pulse. Being alive is the first requisite of any Premier League manager.
2. Be prepared
Don’t get caught picking your nose.
3. Be stripping
“@BBCSporf: BREAKING: Tim Sherwood has removed the gilet! pic.twitter.com/qSndPXhyaA” @RAClempson there you go! Love Tim.
— Matthew Davis (@MattDavis__) April 8, 2015
Don’t be afraid to show emotion by ripping your coat off and throwing it to the turf. This is always a safer bet when you have the exact same coat underneath.
4. Know your celebration
Practice it. Perfect it. If the one-arm Hitler salute is for you, well and good.
5. But know when to use it
We only celebrate when we score.
6. Know where to use it
Tim Sherwood might not be a good coach, but he’s great at celebrating goals: http://t.co/3M7i3TlTuo pic.twitter.com/vMenx1dAPK
— TopDrawerSoccer (@TopDrawerSoccer) April 9, 2015
If you need to make room before you start your celebration, then do so. Remember, make sure the fans can see you.
7. Know what this means
And know it’s not good.
8. Bamboozle your audience
Don’t be afraid to show off your encyclopedia of bullshit.
9. But don’t complicate things
The objective is simple after all.
10. Respect tradition
If you’ve seen others do this before, then you should do it, too.
11. But have set limits
.@AVFCOfficial manager Tim Sherwood is hugged by the Club mascot Hercules Lion #avfc #AVFCvQPR #AstonVilla pic.twitter.com/uZ5gpuLegu
— EMPICS Sport (@EMPICS_SPORT) April 7, 2015
Wish you weren’t so friendly now.
12. Be gracious
Celebrating at old club shocker.
13. Be a sore loser
Because you don’t want this to happen to you.
14. Have confidence in yourself
Stats are important. They are all that matter.
15. Remember the world is watching
So if you’re getting carried away with yourself when you were always trying to go for the cool, calculated persona, quickly get control of the situation again.
16. Have a laugh
The longer it goes on, the more likely you might get out of answering the question.
17. The golden rule
Just be one of the lads.
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