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19th Apr 2018

5 steps of gently breaking it to your manager that you’re going on J1 this summer

Niall McIntyre

The toughest conversation you’ll have to have all summer.

Thought telling your parents you’re too old to go on holidays with them anymore, was tough? Thought breaking it to your girlfriend every Saturday night of the summer that you can’t go out on the town with them again because of training on Sunday morning, was tough? Thought telling your dog you’re going to Dublin for the week and won’t be back until Friday, was tough?

You’ve obviously never been on a J1 before.

You’re bricking the togs.

You actually know well that your manager will be grand. You know well that he’s going to tell you to go over and enjoy yourself and that he’d have done the exact same thing if he was your age.

You’re not actually worried about that. That’s not the real point here.

Because in reality, this isn’t about the anger. How could any manager be angry with a youngster who’s taking on the once in a lifetime opportunity of the American Dream that every second one of their friends are doing with them anyway? He’d want to be a right detail if he was.

This is all about you and your own guilt. You can’t see the anger in your manager, but you can see the disappointment.

You can see his head drop, you can see the anguish scrawled across his face, you can pinpoint the moment his heart splits in two.

Silence is a killer and it’s the reading between the lines that will kill you.

It’s not what he says but it’s what he didn’t say.

There are ways to make it easier for your boss man, and for yourself.

1 You’re the only one going

You’d better make sure you get to him first. He’ll be able to take it on the chin, then. After all you are only one player and this club is much bigger than that. There’s a whole host of young lads coming through from last year’s under-21 team so while it’s not ideal all hope is not lost…yet.

The other lads are staying at home (so he thinks) so he’ll be able to make an exception just this one time. This club will survive.

Don’t make the cardinal sin of letting the others get in before you because then his patience will have worn thin. He won’t be able to take another blow and God knows how he might react to your kicking of a broken man.

If he asks about the other lads, plead ignorance and dodge that question. You don’t have a clue about them.

2 Remind him who went last year

It’s the same story every single year. Students all over are bitten by the bug but clubs have survived before and they’ll be able to do that again.

Older statesmen will fill the gaps. The younger lads are starving for this.

Remind him how successful the club was last year after a big bunch of the lads jetted off to San Francisco not to don the club colours all summer. This isn’t a dead duck.

3 The county team are world beaters anyway

The GAA’s bonkers fixture calendar can actually do good.

Most clubs have gotten the first round of the county championship under their belts in April. There are no definite fixtures for the summer because it all depends on the county team’s progress in the championship.

Those boys are going all the way this year.

It doesn’t matter if you’re from Longford or you’re from Kilkenny, promise him the sun, the moon and the stars about this year’s county team who have a whole host of classy youngsters ready to make their mark.

You’ll be back for the business stages of the club championship in and around late August and September anyway.

That’s when it matters.

4 There’s loads of GAA over there

You’re not actually going Stateside to experience the culture, to see the sights or to have the craic, the only reason you’re going over is to experience the GAA on the other side of the world.

The American GAA scene is thriving. It’s becoming more competitive with each passing year and this will be ideal to keep you ticking over when you’re gone.

For God’s sake you could be rubbing shoulders with the likes of TJ Reid, Danny Sutcliffe and Eamonn Dillon.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BW7fk5xhgDF/

There’s no fear of you coming back with a beer belly. Instead you’ll come back hopping off the ground and rearing for action when it matters most. This isn’t a Jolly Boy’s Outing.

5 Relax yourself

As we’ve said above, this isn’t about your manager, this is about you. Your mantra has always been ‘ask not what your club can do for you but what you can do for your club’ – they know you’re a good lad, they will give you leeway.

You just have to accept that yourself.

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