The most 'boring and predictable' thing about football is Pat Spillane calling it 'boring and predictable'
Rinse, regurgitate, repeat.
Pat Spillane has penned yet another boring and predictable column about why the modern game of football is, you guessed it, 'boring and predictable.'
In 2003 Spillane coined the phrase "Puke football" after watching Tyrone tackle like ravenous dogs and defend in numbers against Kerry in the All-Irleand semi-final.
The Kingdom legend used the term, because he felt that this defensively orientated aspect of the game was ruining the sport he loved, and making it boring to watch.
Spillane went as far as saying that he was wearing black on The Sunday Game, because he was at a "funeral" to mark the death of the game as we knew it.
20 years later, and the Kerryman is still singing the same tune, and it's as flat and off-key as ever.
This time Spillane is talking about the new championship format, and why the provincial championships are no longer competitive.
The provincial championships were a dead duck long before the new format came in, but there has been some brilliant excitement still.
Roscommon ambushing the favourites Mayo in Connacht was a memorable game, while in Leinster, Louth pulled off a brilliant comeback to beat Westmeath in heroic circumstances.
Up in Ulster, Monaghan defeated Tyrone in Healy Park at the death with a last-gasp goal that absolutely nobody saw coming, and the scenes on the pitch afterwards were euphoric.
Not that any of this pleases Spillane, who wrote about the Ulster tie in his column with The Sunday World.
"Afterwards we heard phrases like ‘What’s wrong with Gaelic football?' ‘Who said Gaelic football was boring and predictable?’ ‘The Ulster championship never disappoints’ being bandied about.
"So, I can’t help but adopt my grumpy George Hook persona and reiterate his famous comment ‘hold the horses and back up the caravan for the second.’ Modern day football IS boring and predictable.
"As for the Ulster championship never disappointing, the first two games in the 2023 series featured a nine point win for Armagh over Antrim while Derry beat Fermanagh by 12 points.
"So, let’s have a reality check. Of course, we witnessed a damn good match in Omagh. It provides us with a glimmer of hope. But one swallow never made a summer. I wouldn’t get carried away yet..."
Roll on 2033, and a brand new column explaining why this "new sweeper role" is ruining the game we once loved, and that Dublin should be split in two.
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