They mean well, of course.
They always mean well but good intentions don’t always lead to good things and sometimes our parents just don’t help themselves. They don’t help us either.
You hear the stories of the parents who can’t even bring themselves to watch games because they’re worried about the uncontrollables. The type of parents who’d be worried because they’ve nothing to worry about.
Underage GAA games is the peak. They stands are packed to the rafters with the concerned and the confrontational tuismitheoirí.
1. The mother who runs in when you pick up an injury
She’s a primary school teacher. You have a fully qualified physio tending to your ills but mammy feels she can do better. She deserts her seat in the stand and sprints in off the sideline to see that you’re okay.
Your street credits in the team has gone way down the glen just like that. Easy ammunition for the lads to lynch you in the dressing room for weeks to come.
“Aw, are you alright? Do you want your mother to come in and kiss it better?”
David Fitzgerald won the Fitzgibbon Cup with UL last weekend. The Clare star picked up a few war-wounds for his troubles and after the game a concerned mother was straight into him.
As it turned out, it was UL full back and fellow Clare man, Conor Cleary’s mother who worried for Fitzgerald. The Clare lads were already having the craic about it on Twitter.
"Ah for feck sake, how did you manage that?!" pic.twitter.com/c4hzFv0u0R
— GAA Wrap (@gaawrap) February 28, 2018
Ah mam 😂😂 #shewillbemortified @cleary_conor https://t.co/yArW6Covgw
— Eoin Cleary (@Smiley_014_) February 28, 2018
Image credit: Sports Action Photography.
2. The parent who’d fight in an empty room
Here we go again.
He was sent out of the stand last week for mouthing at the referee. This weekend the game has been brought to a halt because your old man is after busting a rival supporter with a headbutt over a line ball decision.
He just can’t stay out of trouble and he doesn’t spare you or your teammates, either.
“Sure how is that lad on the team anyway, he’s useless,” he bellows for every single spectator to hear.
Chill the beans big man.
3. The mother who’s fond of a hug
The referee blows it up. That can only mean one thing.
She has tunnel vision and makes it her business to get around to every single member of your team. Gives them a great big hug and tells them they did themselves and the whole parish proud.
Ah mam.
4. The prolific Facebook user
Parents just shouldn’t be allowed on social media.
5. The wannabee gaffer
The parent who rings up the manager any time their son or daughter doesn’t get the start.
The coach can’t look at you the same way again and you wouldn’t blame him.
You’re big enough and bold enough to fight your own battles.
6. The umpire from the other team
Literally the most biased person in the world. The ball could be twenty yards wide but they’ll have the white flag proudly flying for the next 20 seconds.
Sometimes they get shifted onto linesman duty, too and they do you out of it every single time.
They’re even wearing the opposition’s jacket for crying out loud.
7. Mother with the motivational flag
The less said the better.
8. The mothers who encourage you via your pet name
Stop the lights and call the whole thing off.
Every time you get near the ball, she’s screaming, she’s roaring, she’s anticipating.
“Go on my Mausy.”
Inevitably, the lads catch on.
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