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27th Sep 2018

New motion to stop players pissing on pitch is going to upset a load of lads’ routines

Niall McIntyre

It’s a rite of passage for some lads.

It’s game-day and on game-day nothing can be left to chance. You pack your bag and then unpack it to make sure your shorts and socks are in there. And then you put in a spare pair of shorts anyway.

You double-knot your bootlaces so they won’t be annoying you during the match. The warm-up warms you up and now you’re ready to go.

But then, nature calls. No matter when nature calls it needs to be answered, obviously. But when it’s before a game, it could be the softest, most passive call of all time that could definitely hold until the dressing room at half-time, but it’s game-day. Nothing can be left to chance.

Imagine, the call escalated and you were absolutely bursting after 15 minutes of the game stranded in no-man’s land. Just imagine. You just couldn’t risk it.

So instead, the sides of pitches get a soaking. You’ll see lads breaking off from the warm-up to not so casually shed their decency and let it flow by the sideline.

They’ve no shame and it’s an accepted thing at this stage. One group of players, the lads who have a little bit of self respect, perform the fake-hamstring stance to sneak in a cheeky piss without getting noticed.

You know the one.

Well the sight of the pre-match whizz will be no longer in county Carlow, if the county board officials are to have their way. At a recent county board meeting, development officer Brian O’Neill and PRO Tommy Murphy announced their disgust at the concept.

“I find it absolutely disgusting We have rules for sideline discipline. Is urinating on the pitch acceptable? This matter must be put to bed,” said O’Neill via the Carlow Nationalist.

“We have got to get the message out that it is unacceptable in all grounds. If you were caught doing this on the street you would be up in court,” said Carlow PRO Tommy Murphy.

That’s the warning. Some players will have to change their pre-match routines.

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Topics:

Carlow GAA