In case you hadn’t heard, England are BACK.
Daniel Sturridge scored the first goal of the Southgate era, heading the Three Lions in front against the might of Malta, and Dele Alli fired home a second quicker than you can say ’67 days’.
Sure, there will be some nay-sayers, saying anyone can look good against Malta.
To those people we say, ‘Were you not watching Wayne Rooney’s performance?’
Not content with giving the ball away twice in the opening few minutes, the England captain contrived to get nutmegged by a Maltese opponent.
Rooney nutmegged against #malta 😂 The saga continues #England
pic.twitter.com/QNz1d2cHz4— Daniel Carter⚽️ (@FoggyFerret) October 8, 2016
Now, we wouldn’t go as far as saying being nutmegged by a Maltese international is on a level with being nutmegged by a child. That would be doing a disservice to Pietro Ghedin’s team.
It’s more like getting nutmegged by a labrador, or a small camel.
Some have said Rooney shouldn’t even have been on the pitch to be nutmegged, having been guilty of…let’s call it an agricultural tackle earlier in the game.
Glenn Hoddle: "that's a really good tackle"
Aye, course it is. pic.twitter.com/yYyvKLFChG
— The Chief 🇨🇾 (@Macho_Grande1) October 8, 2016
Glenn Hoddle literally seeing a slow-mo of Rooney flying through the air into the shins of opponent..'He's not left the ground, not a foul'
— lewis (@lewinick) October 8, 2016
Thankfully, Rooney’s skill and leadership haven’t gone unnoticed by the match-viewing public.
Jordan Henderson is out-midfielding Wayne Rooney here.
— Jack Pitt-Brooke (@JackPittBrooke) October 8, 2016
https://twitter.com/DinhoRebranded/status/784793956299239424
England fans trying the clap and Rooney looking out of his depth against a player from the Maltese league.
— Huw Davies (@thehuwdavies) October 8, 2016
Still, it’s not like Rooney’s underwhelming performance has been to the detriment of any of England’s other players.
England player injured chasing a wayward Rooney pass…..
— Tim Stillman (@Stillmanator) October 8, 2016
https://twitter.com/tomEurosport/status/784790444483964929
Sure, Rooney has scored dozens of goals for his country, but so has Gary Lineker. Lineker’s probably more mobile too, and definitely less likely to get himself sent off.
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