The January sales can be tricky.
So don’t feel bad for buying a load of useless items, football clubs do it too. At least it didn’t cost you £50 million quid. Since the January transfer window came into operation in 2003, there’s been a few really bad pieces of business.
Here’s the six worst:
6. Jimmy Bullard
Before he was in the jungle, or appearing on national television dressed like a 1970s pimp, Jimmy Bullard was a footballer. Beginning his career in non-league, the midfielder worked his way up the divisions and made it to the Premier League with Wigan Athletic, before transferring to Fulham.
Bullard’s performances with the London club earned him an international call-up, but he’d also suffered a cruciate knee injury. When Bullard’s contract was about to enter its final year, Fulham and the player couldn’t agree terms. Hull City stepped in and made the 30-year-old their record signing, paying £5million and a reported weekly wage of £45,000.
A massive financial outlay for a club in its first season in the Premier League. Bullard injured his knee 53 minutes into his debut and was ruled out for the rest of the season.
Bullard returned the following season but was unable to prevent Hull from being relegated. The midfielder would only play 24 times for the club, before his contract was terminated in 2011. This was Bullard’s only memorable moment in a Tiger’s shirt.
5. Savio Nsereko
Remember Savio Nsereko? No? He played for West Ham, who paid £9million for his services in January 2009? Played 10 games, no goals, one assist? Does any of this ring a bell? Well it happened, and here’s a picture of the German to prove it.
Savio was transferred to Fiorentina six months later and last popped up playing in Kazakhstan.
4. Christopher Samba
It’s January 2013, QPR are bottom of the table and need a dominant centre-half to shore up their leaky defence. Numerous players are linked with the club but they settle on Christopher Samba. The defender costs £12.5million, a club record fee and breaks the club’s wage structure, but manager Harry Redknapp was delighted with his new player.
‘This is an unbelievable signing,’ Redknapp said. ‘Chris is just what we need. He’s a monster. He’s great in the air, quick, a leader, strong, fantastic in both boxes, hard as nails. He’s a proper centre-half.’ Just not at Loftus Road, unfortunately.
Samba was hapless as QPR were relegated, got into a Twitter row with fans after a dreadful performance against Fulham and was shipped back to Anzhi Makhachkala. The only saving grace for the London club was they (somehow) recouped their original transfer fee.
3. Alfonso Alves
Remember this guy? Middlesbrough fans wish they could forget him. The Brazilian striker cost £12.7million in 2008 and arrived at the Riverside stadium with a fearsome reputation, having scored 45 goals in 39 appearances for Heerenveen in the Dutch league.
The following season Alves scored just four goals as Middlesbrough were relegated. The Teesiders are yet to return to the top flight and the striker currently plays for Al-Gharafa Sports Club in Qatar. Alves somehow has eight caps for Brazil.
2. Andy Carroll
£35million, for an injured forward, who’s only played half a season of regular Premier League football and who can only fit into a team playing direct football? Yep, even now, four years on, Andy Carroll’s dramatic deadline day move from Newcastle to Liverpool is hard to fathom.
The player never settled at Anfield. In his only full season with the club he scored four goals in 35 games and was shipped out on loan to West Ham when Brendan Rodgers became Liverpool manager in 2012.
Carroll has since proved he’s a capable Premier League forward, but one more befitting of the £15 million West Ham paid to make his transfer permanent in 2013.
In January 2011, Liverpool had just been taken over by the Fenway Sports Group, who preached a mantle of sensible transfer policies, guided by sabermetrics and so-called ‘moneyball’ tactics. Essentially, they said they would use data and stats to identify young talent, who would also have a sell-on value.
The formula went disastrously wrong as Liverpool bought Carroll, and it could be argued he cost both Kenny Dalglish and Damien Comolli their jobs with the club. There’s only one reason Carroll’s not in our top spot…
1. Fernando Torres
…and that’s Fernando Torres. Chelsea paid £50million for the Spaniard on the same day Liverpool signed Carroll. Torres was once the most feared striker in the Premier League, terrorising defences for Liverpool and Spain. He suffered a knee injury in 2010 and looked out-of-sorts at that summer’s World Cup, failing to score and losing his first-team spot as his country won the title.
When Chelsea signed Torres the striker was still widely regarded as a world-class player, although the fee seemed exorbitant. He’d been unhappy in his final days with Liverpool and it seemed like it was a matter of time before he regained his form. It never happened.
Torres scored 45 goals in 172 games, only 20 of those in the Premier League, and has returned to his first club Atletico Madrid. The striker did, however, win the Champions League, the FA Cup and the Europa League during his time at Chelsea, but looked a pale imitation of the player who was so prolific at Liverpool. It’s difficult to think of a player who declined so rapidly or a transfer with so little value.
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