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Football

15th Dec 2016

Phil Neville’s round-up pearls of wisdom for each team on Match of the Day were gold

This sums his punditry up

Conan Doherty

Phil Neville.

What’s the point?

You could understand if some shows wanted to put up with nonsense analyses if they were getting a name like David Beckham out of it but what is Match of the Day really gaining from having Phil Neville on?

No-one’s tuning in to hear what the former Everton man has to say and he’s not exerting much quality on the punditry anyway.

He was at it again on Wednesday night. In fairness, some people jump down his throat for any little thing now so even when he says Zlatan Ibrahimovic is world class, he’s pulled up for it.

What’s really wrong with saying Ibrahimovic is world class? World class is relative to the world and when you think of the best central strikers, you think of Suarez, Aguero, Costa. Zlatan is in that bracket too.

Neville’s biggest crime was trying to defend the argument by stating ‘was’ and ‘is’ is the same thing. (Or was the same thing?)

Still, there’s nothing like a midweek Match of the Day especially when there’s no Aston Villa stinking up the place and ruining it. But you don’t need Phil Neville’s name to sell it.

Alan Pardew’s misery will do that itself.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored in the 88th minute to win the game for United against Crystal Palace and Pardew’s world fell apart.

Pardew1

You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.

Pardew

We’re a long way from dancing beneath the Wembley lights now.

Pardew2

Fortunately for Crystal Palace and Pardew, Phil Neville was there to offer some advice.

In Match of the Day’s typically expedited analysis of every game, the Mancunian was at hand to sum up his thoughts and impart pure wisdom on proceedings.

Phil Neville on Crystal Palace

Simple, really. Stop conceding goals and you’ll have a better chance.

That insight was appreciated by viewers who would’ve otherwise been none-the-wiser.

https://twitter.com/Starkyandhutch/status/809178438208815104

Phil Neville on Middelsbrough

Not conceding is one thing but Neville knows the real key to winning matches.

Start scoring. What else do you need to know?

https://twitter.com/AbdulFulham/status/809173408235880448

Phil Neville on Swansea

And, guess what? If you can score goals and do something else right, you are guaranteed a win. That’s right, you got it, clean sheets.

He’s been preaching this logic for two years now.

And, still, no-one will listen.

Just score some goals and be harder to beat, for God’s sake.

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