‘Harry who?’, Totti selfies, €50m David Luiz and more wondrous happenings since Roy Keane last held a Champions League mic

Has it really been only nine months since Roy Keane handed his Champions League logoed microphone and walked into the Lisboa sun-set?

When he walked away from the punditry game, on May 24, 2014, following the European Cup final in Lisbon, we dreaded we would never again enjoy his acerbic analytical qualities on our TV screen again. Not so. Now shorn of his Aston Villa assistant managerial responsibilities, Keane is back in the employ of ITV for the Champions League. A lot has changed in this manic, footballing world since then. In case Keane needs one, here is a cheat sheet of all the major events and talking points:

Adrian Chiles got the flick by ITV

The gormless foil to punditry galacticos, Chiles was given the heave-ho by the broadcaster so there will be no awkward reunion for the duo or, for that matter, easy passages of banter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLhWlODDsRU

Harry Who?

Harry Kane is now one of Europe's hottest strikers. The Tottenham striker has 23 goals this season and has been scouted by Real Madrid.

Tim Sherwood, 'INSERT NAME HERE' manager

Our favourite gilet-wearing geezer has been linked to just about every job vacancy in the past six months, but is now in the Aston Villa hot-seat.

Second best but still turning heads

Stephanie Roche's Peamount United wonder-strike finished second at the FIFA Awards but Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo remain big fans.

David Luiz is now a €50m defender

The Brazilian, fresh from being part of a defence that conceded seven against Germany, rocked up at Paris St-Germain and asked if they'd still have him. They would and they did.

Ronaldo encourages his son to dream big

'You want to wear a Superman costume while I do an interview on national TV? Go nuts.' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QaJ0_OgxuQ The Arsenal flop is now earning a wedge at Roma. In recent months he has smuggled a blonde lady into Italy, had his house burgled after tipping thieves off by tweeting on his holidays, went ballistic after he was sent off at the Africa Cup of Nations and performed wizardry to help Ivory Coast win the tournament. The Roma captain won plaudits for this Ellen Degeneres-esque stunt after scoring against Lazio. After biting Giorgio Chiellini at the 2014 World Cup - his third such offence in four years - Luis Suarez finally admitted he needed help. He also secured a big money move to Barcelona. http://youtu.be/UttpqKoSVGE Waxworks, moose-shooting, staring down referees, highlighting hunger problems, backheels, destroying the confidence of low-fi journalists and pranking the PSG doctor. Never change Zlatan. While we're at it, has Roy been up to much during his punditry hiatus? No? Didn't think so.