Every step the English hype train is about to take ahead of the World Cup
This time, it's definitely different.
Look, we know you heard before that they were going to win the Euros and it didn't pan out and that it might just have been English hype but this is completely different.
The impressive 3-2 win over Germany in Berlin in back in March of 2016 was a timely refuel of the country's hopes after several years of Roy Hodgson's sterling efforts to crush any modicum of excitement around the team.
But, despite another miserable campaign, the English – much like ourselves to be honest (remember the Rugby World Cup?) – can't build up to a tournament without hyping themselves to the hilt.
England teams can't escape the hype. And here are the stages that gets rattled through on a biennial basis.
1. England have a bad tournament.
2. England need an English manager.
England need an English manager and they need him asap. Hodgson, Redknapp and Pearce must be the shortlist and all would do similar jobs imo
— ChrisOrmie (@chrisormie) April 29, 2012
Love Sherwood's passion for the game, definitely need him as England manager
— K. (@Sweeney_96) May 3, 2015
England need a foreign manager.
Joke team. England will never win anything with an English manager. Need a quality foreigner
— . (@StanleyJay__) November 15, 2013
And something about technical football.
England need a foreign, technical manager. Football is a global sport. People need to accept it. Hodgson is pants
— 🦈 (@BrolyMZ) September 3, 2014
Switch these as necessary after every flip-flop.
3. But England don't have the technical quality.
#bbcworldcup Whoever is England manager is irrelevant ,the raw material is not, not enough technical quality across the whole squad.
— Millo💀 (@Jdmillo69) June 24, 2014
4. England need a grass roots investigation.
i reckon england need foreign coaches at the bottom teaching the kids basic technical skills, not at the top (fab.cap), too late by then
— sleek spaces interiors (@sleekspaces_) July 5, 2010
5. But England also need a scapegoat.
6. England have a self-evaluation of their own mentality.
When a team doesn't play well, the conclusion we draw in England is "they don't care" or "not enough effort", never tactical or technical
— SimonBrundish (@SimonBrundish) September 20, 2014
7. England turn on the golden generation.
England need to get rid of Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard, blood the youngsters and we'll have a decent team
— Locky (@__Locky) October 12, 2012
8. England need to look to the future.
The Mail almost got it right in 2007.
9. England realise they already have the future sorted.
Forget about that grass roots investigation.
10. An uncapped England player bolts from nowhere.
— Marc Duffy (@MarcSDuffy) June 2, 2018
11. England walk through their qualifying group.
We've got probably the worst England squad for decades and finished unbeaten top of our qualifying group, and had some good results against top teams
— Brett (@utdBrett) May 31, 2018
12. England win a friendly.
The Sun, 2005.
13. Something about technical football but England have that now.
It's different to the last time.
Best England performance I've seen in ages. Fast, strong, energetic, technical. I'm actually excited about the Euros! Alli was outstanding
— Andy Comyn (@AndyComyn) March 26, 2016
14. Not that anyone's getting carried away...
Excellent England display tonight. Not getting carried away but a young, quick and fluid team #hope
— Meaky (@MeakyLeon) March 26, 2016
Not getting carried away...its England...but these kids are good they're fighters they don't give up they'll do us proud #ENG
— Mark (@markjamess13) March 27, 2016
Not getting carried away but England looked alright to
— Robert Harper (@RobertpHarper) March 27, 2016
Not getting carried away with England, but by far the best I've seen them play in ages. It'll be wrecked again when Rooney starts though.
— Adam Brown (@AdsBrown) March 26, 2016
— Rob Molloy (@Dobchecks) March 26, 2016
15. F**k it, England can win the whole thing.
— Rory Nixon (@RoryNixon) March 29, 2016
I honestly can't believe I'm going to say this. England may actually win the euros
— Joel L (@JoelLangham) March 26, 2016
16. England lose a friendly.
Sigh. England beat. Anyone want to revisit their gung-ho tweets after the Germany game? #TrustMeKidsImSixtyNextYear
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 29, 2016
If an England manager can't maintain a consistent performance from one game to the next we're fucked. This is not difficult to understand.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 29, 2016
17. The hype around England has already embedded in though.
It’s literally just hit me the fact England are going to win the World Cup and I’m very excited about it 🍺⚽️
— Jordan Hook (@jordhook) June 3, 2018
18. England have a bad tournament.
Classic England anticlimax #EURO2016
— . (@ImReadinHere) June 11, 2016
19. Something about technical football.
Of course it's true that technical deficiencies and grassroots coaching are valid reasons why England are unlikely to win the World Cup
— Sam Down (@SamDown93) June 20, 2014
20. England need an English manager.
Ive said it before i will say it again, the England job needs an English manager, we need someone who has passion for the country.
— Jo Lambert 💙 (@Jo_RW_lambert) February 8, 2012